Sure, I'll play your game, but with a twist. I'd like to crawl a webpage for links to zip files, extract the CSVs inside them, do some basic data processing on

Sure, I'll play your game, but with a twist. I'd like to crawl a webpage for links to zip files, extract the CSVs inside them, do some basic data processing on them to calculate some stats, then post that data to an API hosted on AWS using amazon's SigV4 authentication scheme - all of this without writing temp files to disk since that would tank performance. I choose Python, you can have OCaml. Race? In all seriousness, I quite enjoyed OCaml in university and a quick search shows it has all the libraries needed for this task (which is actually just the next thing in my work queue). It's a great language, but "give me a language and I'll tell you why it's inferior" is not a good attitude. There are always pros and cons and every use case has different priorities.