If you are serious about this, I suggest handing this off to someone with some at least semi-serious writing experience. It reads horribly as is. The errors are

If you are serious about this, I suggest handing this off to someone with some at least semi-serious writing experience. It reads horribly as is. The errors are such that the original author probably isn't capable of making the necessary corrections without total direction. The spirit is laudable; the execution is very lacking.