3 ms·

Ask HN: How to handle situations when co-workers laugh at you in meetings?

5 points by mericky 5y ago

logicalmonster 5y ago
Are you able to provide some details? I'd say it depends on the situation, was it a good-natured friendly ribbing or were they mocking something personal about you like your looks or something?
arrakis2021 5y ago
Double down and laugh at yourself. It neutralizes any awkwardness and kills the joke immediately. Use humor to your advantage. nothing they say can hurt you.
ameminator 5y ago
Uh, sorry that happened to you? Were they laughing at your joke? Or did something unprofessional happen?
- mericky 5y ago
  Not on jokes. I have a speech problem. I suffer from neurogenic stuttering. Whenever I express myself, I notice their behaviour of mocking for some time.
  - ameminator 5y ago
    Hey man, that really sucks. If you're US or West EU based, and you work for a medium-large company, this is definitely something you can approach HR with, although it might be worth talking to your boss about first. Discrimination based on a medical condition IS protected in most of those jurisdictions. If this is happening on a routine basis, it's important to record, in a journal, the 5 'W's - Who, what, when, where, why - so that you can have your ducks in a row. If it's a small company, you may just have to talk to the owner - and if he doesn't do something, you may need to go to court. You may need to find a new job, in either case. This whole thing sucks, and unfortunately I have no easy answers for you. See if you can get some time with a speech therapist, but really that's besides the point. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but you do have options.
  - sigmaprimus 5y ago
    Maybe have the HR department play this video? https://youtu.be/MOHFS10q2ms https://youtu.be/MOHFS10q2ms I know you don't want to be centered out but the fact is if they are mocking you that is already the case.
  - boring_twenties 5y ago
    That's just fucked up, there's really no other way to put it. I can't even begin to imagine any team I've worked on in my 15-20 year career acting this way towards anyone, nevermind an actual member of the team. You probably have some legal options you could pursue (IANAL) but honestly, everyone and their mother is hiring right now. I wouldn't waste another day on these kinds of assholes.
  - hw-guy 5y ago
    You have some unbelievably immature co-workers. I have worked at many jobs over 30+ years and have never once seen anyone in an engineering environment laugh at someone's disability, including stuttering.
  - Robust_tensor 5y ago
    U could try any of the following things: 1. Try looking right back to them & nod ur head in a way like asking, "What? Do u want to add something?" 2. As others suggested, talk to hr. If u feel like handling urselves, speak to them directly & ask right away, "Whats their problem anyways?" Remember always whatevrr u do with confidence is always civilized & savage. This s my opibion. Try what u feel like this suits the context. Cheers
gus_massa 5y ago
Are there other persons in the meeting?
unbalancedevh 5y ago
It very much depends on the circumstances. Was there something funny? Were they insulting you personally, or professionally? Generally, though, I think a good response would include staying respectful of others and taking responsibility for your own actions. Some combination of confidence, humility, and grace.
limmeau 5y ago
Please elaborate. How did this happen?

5 points by mericky 5y ago

Are you able to provide some details? I'd say it depends on the situation, was it a good-natured friendly ribbing or were they mocking something personal about you like your looks or something?

arrakis2021 5y ago

Double down and laugh at yourself. It neutralizes any awkwardness and kills the joke immediately. Use humor to your advantage. nothing they say can hurt you.

ameminator 5y ago

Uh, sorry that happened to you? Were they laughing at your joke? Or did something unprofessional happen?

mericky 5y ago
Not on jokes. I have a speech problem. I suffer from neurogenic stuttering. Whenever I express myself, I notice their behaviour of mocking for some time.
- ameminator 5y ago
  Hey man, that really sucks. If you're US or West EU based, and you work for a medium-large company, this is definitely something you can approach HR with, although it might be worth talking to your boss about first. Discrimination based on a medical condition IS protected in most of those jurisdictions. If this is happening on a routine basis, it's important to record, in a journal, the 5 'W's - Who, what, when, where, why - so that you can have your ducks in a row. If it's a small company, you may just have to talk to the owner - and if he doesn't do something, you may need to go to court. You may need to find a new job, in either case. This whole thing sucks, and unfortunately I have no easy answers for you. See if you can get some time with a speech therapist, but really that's besides the point. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but you do have options.
- sigmaprimus 5y ago
  Maybe have the HR department play this video? https://youtu.be/MOHFS10q2ms https://youtu.be/MOHFS10q2ms I know you don't want to be centered out but the fact is if they are mocking you that is already the case.
- boring_twenties 5y ago
  That's just fucked up, there's really no other way to put it. I can't even begin to imagine any team I've worked on in my 15-20 year career acting this way towards anyone, nevermind an actual member of the team. You probably have some legal options you could pursue (IANAL) but honestly, everyone and their mother is hiring right now. I wouldn't waste another day on these kinds of assholes.
- hw-guy 5y ago
  You have some unbelievably immature co-workers. I have worked at many jobs over 30+ years and have never once seen anyone in an engineering environment laugh at someone's disability, including stuttering.
- Robust_tensor 5y ago
  U could try any of the following things: 1. Try looking right back to them & nod ur head in a way like asking, "What? Do u want to add something?" 2. As others suggested, talk to hr. If u feel like handling urselves, speak to them directly & ask right away, "Whats their problem anyways?" Remember always whatevrr u do with confidence is always civilized & savage. This s my opibion. Try what u feel like this suits the context. Cheers

gus_massa 5y ago

Are there other persons in the meeting?

unbalancedevh 5y ago

It very much depends on the circumstances. Was there something funny? Were they insulting you personally, or professionally? Generally, though, I think a good response would include staying respectful of others and taking responsibility for your own actions. Some combination of confidence, humility, and grace.

limmeau 5y ago

Please elaborate. How did this happen?