If you grew up in poverty & violence & a terrible environment, then your brain is going to work in different ways than someone who wasn't raised in that env. Th

If you grew up in poverty & violence & a terrible environment, then your brain is going to work in different ways than someone who wasn't raised in that env. That's the bad news. The good news is that there are professional counselors (who hopefully as a software developer, you/your insurance can afford) who have dedicated themselves to helping clients understand the sub-optimal ways brains can operate, and work with those clients to figure out better ways of thinking and living. I started seeing one about 4 months ago, as I also grew up in a fairly physically & emotionally violent environment and finally realized I cannot undo the effects of that upbringing without serious professional help. The info & wisdom my counselor has given me has been like turning on a light bulb in a room that illuminates new colors I didn't even know were there. I'm not sure how else to describe it. I have a much better ability to examine the state of my mind and emotions and body and motivations, in a way I didn't even know was possible 4 months ago. I cannot recommend enough seeing one. You don't know what you don't know. I hope you find peace & purpose, whatever you end up doing!