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> listening, and exercising my capacity for empathy, and trying to be pleasant to be around None of that matters if you aren’t attractive. You have to be attra

> listening, and exercising my capacity for empathy, and trying to be pleasant to be around None of that matters if you aren’t attractive. You have to be attractive for girls to swipe right on you and start a conversation in the first place.

rdtwo 5y ago
It’s actually not that bad if you get out from behind the keyboard and practice. But it’s work and it could take a few years off practice 2-3 times a week.
chrisseaton 5y ago
> You have to be attractive Again, looking in any maternity ward at the fathers you'll see many conventionally unattractive men.
- guskel 5y ago
  Those are the men who "stuck around". You're not going to see all the deadbeats who are having babies with multiple women in a maternity ward.
  - eropple 5y ago
    Odd thing to but-for him about. About one in five American mothers have children from more than one father, and that includes Very Upstanding(tm) folks who divorce and remarry and not the women falling for those absolute chads of your projection.
    - esyir 5y ago
      A bit of a sidetrack, but that seems like a pretty high number to me. At least in my part of the world, the numbers are at least an order of magnitude lower.
      - eropple 5y ago
        Probably is high. Americans seem to divorce a lot.
eropple 5y ago
This is the line peddled by MRAs and similar dirtbags, yes, when they need you to be righteously angry about your situation. And yet, somehow one can muddle along and do alright for oneself--and I am not ugly but I'm not particularly attractive. As 'rdtwo notes, though, it does take practice and commitment and it does take time.
BLKNSLVR 5y ago
Continuing to believe that may be what's holding you back. There are less- and un-attractive females that are looking for a partner as well. The "bar being too high" works in both directions. Also, in regards to longer-term relationships, if this is true: > You have to be attractive for girls to swipe right on you and start a conversation in the first place. Then they're probably not the right ones to be starting a conversation with.
- epolanski 5y ago
  > Then they're probably not the right ones to be starting a conversation with. Why? Aren't women entitled to be attracted by phisique and by passing good genes?
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
insanejudge 5y ago
what a wild single standard
confidantlake 5y ago
You can work on being attractive with good diet and exercise.

rdtwo 5y ago

It’s actually not that bad if you get out from behind the keyboard and practice. But it’s work and it could take a few years off practice 2-3 times a week.

chrisseaton 5y ago

> You have to be attractive Again, looking in any maternity ward at the fathers you'll see many conventionally unattractive men.

guskel 5y ago
Those are the men who "stuck around". You're not going to see all the deadbeats who are having babies with multiple women in a maternity ward.
- eropple 5y ago
  Odd thing to but-for him about. About one in five American mothers have children from more than one father, and that includes Very Upstanding(tm) folks who divorce and remarry and not the women falling for those absolute chads of your projection.
  - esyir 5y ago
    A bit of a sidetrack, but that seems like a pretty high number to me. At least in my part of the world, the numbers are at least an order of magnitude lower.
    - eropple 5y ago
      Probably is high. Americans seem to divorce a lot.

eropple 5y ago

This is the line peddled by MRAs and similar dirtbags, yes, when they need you to be righteously angry about your situation. And yet, somehow one can muddle along and do alright for oneself--and I am not ugly but I'm not particularly attractive. As 'rdtwo notes, though, it does take practice and commitment and it does take time.

BLKNSLVR 5y ago

Continuing to believe that may be what's holding you back. There are less- and un-attractive females that are looking for a partner as well. The "bar being too high" works in both directions. Also, in regards to longer-term relationships, if this is true: > You have to be attractive for girls to swipe right on you and start a conversation in the first place. Then they're probably not the right ones to be starting a conversation with.

epolanski 5y ago
> Then they're probably not the right ones to be starting a conversation with. Why? Aren't women entitled to be attracted by phisique and by passing good genes?
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]

insanejudge 5y ago

what a wild single standard

confidantlake 5y ago

You can work on being attractive with good diet and exercise.