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The problem is people, including women, get to pick their friends. If you're branded as awkward or ugly all women will avoid you leading to a self-perpetuating
by R0b0t1 5y ago
The problem is people, including women, get to pick their friends. If you're branded as awkward or ugly all women will avoid you leading to a self-perpetuating cycle.
Since women can pick their friends and generally pick gregarious, outgoing, and socially competent men for their friend groups, they ignore and do not understand the type of man who is labelled an incel.
- _bkr9 5y agoNo, these are false premises. All of my female partners have had the feedback from someone that "you're just like a guy". The so called "girl next door" wearing sweats, and rocking a bad-hair-day ponytail because she's late for her lab may be way hotter when she dresses up than the median film actress. She may be an awesome friend. She may be a frickin' monster in bed, without giving off any porn-star vibes. Incels are fundamentally working off a broken model of women, attraction, dating, and sex. EDUT> Not getting "Stacy" is making them crazy, but they don't realize that they don't want Stacy. Stacy's frumpy-seeming neighbour will rock their world.
- zozbot234 5y ago> Incels are fundamentally working off a broken model of women, attraction, dating, and sex. That broken model is unfortunately widespread in both genders. Some "girls next door" can basically feel like failures in the dating/relationships sphere, which ends up making them even less appealing to others. It's worth trying to fix this of course, but it's not always easy.
- R0b0t1 5y agoThey're not usually working off of a broken model, they legitimately get no positive interaction with women.
- acdha 5y agoThe former part is the cause of the latter. The guys I've known like this were trying to treat it like a game and/or had unrealistic expectations, and that ended about as well as it always does. Once they started being genuine and realistic, things changed dramatically.
- R0b0t1 5y agoYou have no idea. I am sure there are some men who change for the better, but there's plenty of men who try being genuine and realistic and get no positive response.
- acdha 5y agoWell, I certainly don’t know your friends but I can say that in my experience the guys who _said_ that tended to have, shall we say, gaps in their self-assessment or were unable to accept that there was nothing you could do to make one specific person feel differently.