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Good luck to you. I'm in the same boat and it's comforting to not be alone. I've sacrificed a social and romantic life to get to this point (20 year old, fairly

Good luck to you. I'm in the same boat and it's comforting to not be alone. I've sacrificed a social and romantic life to get to this point (20 year old, fairly well paid DevOps guy). There are days that I immensely regret leaving school at 16 and terminating my youth early but financially speaking it was the best decision ever. I just push onwards, hope for life to become fun, and hope that I won't become a cautionary tale.

recuter 5y ago
Please please please try to find good outgoing non-techy roommates that you can tolerate while you are at this age. Even better if they are good with girls. Do not live alone just because you can afford to do so. Try to spend as little as possible of your salary and regardless of the market buy a house/apartment as soon as you can. Live in the smallest room. There are plenty of excellent places in the world where you can have a reasonable quality of life for about $10k/year, your goal is to have that covered from your real estate income. Go do that as soon as you can, travel slow. Overnight trains, house/pet sitting, couch surfing, 'etc are all good things to try. Try to find a remote job and never touch your salary income again, keep investing it. Do not mention your net worth to anyone. You will find in a few years that "DevOps" is a very finite skillset so there is no real need to push so hard as you'll know most of what you need to know in about 3 more years if you do not already. No reason not to have a social and romantic life and great weekends. I'm quite confident your employer and less talented peers are exploiting your age and willingness to put in long hours. Don't be available after hours and avoid being on call as much as possible. You only get your 20s once. Make memories. Money is important but you need less than you think and is never a worthy goal in and of itself. You can convince yourself of this by reading up on behavioral economics. Optimize for quality of life. Have a FU-money number, reach it, and bail.
- c7DJTLrn 5y ago
  Appreciate the advice. It is a bit harder than it sounds though. Building a friend circle from scratch is harder than any technical challenge I've faced before. I overcame my social anxiousness for the most part but that doesn't mean I can cold approach people and build a conversation up to a friendship. Anyway, HN is hardly the place for this kind of topic but thanks again. I'm giving it my best but it's not a piece of cake.
  - recuter 5y ago
    Hence the roommates. HN is certainly the place for this kind of topic, it is one of the most important topics discussed here. I've been on this site for over a decade and was exactly in your shoes when I found it. Tech crap comes and goes and is repetitive. You'll sponge it all up sooner or later anyway. It is absolutely not a piece of cake, I know buddy. It requires a massive investment on your part and I am flailing around to really drive home the fact that it is worth literally ALL THE EFFORT YOU CAN MUSTER. Guaranteed. I sincerely hope you succeed in making the very necessary changes you know deep down you have to make. Best of luck!
ceasesurthinko 5y ago
If there's any solace for you, there are plenty of similarly brilliant kids as you that did stay in school to try to get that 'college' experience, and still are unsatisfied with themselves and feel out of place. Think about if you were in that normal streamlined path in college, would your personality and innate nature really do a 180? Highly doubt it, even though most people think they can exercise a locus of control and that external circumstances can change their deep inner character. There's a reason why you gravitated towards leaving school and being a young genius and working early. You live a unique (and impressive) life. Try to live your life out like a movie and don't look back at the what ifs. You're 20 too, haha. You're a baby. Your future is fucking unscripted. Don't worry about any of that shit. Your life is just starting.

recuter 5y ago

Please please please try to find good outgoing non-techy roommates that you can tolerate while you are at this age. Even better if they are good with girls. Do not live alone just because you can afford to do so. Try to spend as little as possible of your salary and regardless of the market buy a house/apartment as soon as you can. Live in the smallest room. There are plenty of excellent places in the world where you can have a reasonable quality of life for about $10k/year, your goal is to have that covered from your real estate income. Go do that as soon as you can, travel slow. Overnight trains, house/pet sitting, couch surfing, 'etc are all good things to try. Try to find a remote job and never touch your salary income again, keep investing it. Do not mention your net worth to anyone. You will find in a few years that "DevOps" is a very finite skillset so there is no real need to push so hard as you'll know most of what you need to know in about 3 more years if you do not already. No reason not to have a social and romantic life and great weekends. I'm quite confident your employer and less talented peers are exploiting your age and willingness to put in long hours. Don't be available after hours and avoid being on call as much as possible. You only get your 20s once. Make memories. Money is important but you need less than you think and is never a worthy goal in and of itself. You can convince yourself of this by reading up on behavioral economics. Optimize for quality of life. Have a FU-money number, reach it, and bail.

c7DJTLrn 5y ago
Appreciate the advice. It is a bit harder than it sounds though. Building a friend circle from scratch is harder than any technical challenge I've faced before. I overcame my social anxiousness for the most part but that doesn't mean I can cold approach people and build a conversation up to a friendship. Anyway, HN is hardly the place for this kind of topic but thanks again. I'm giving it my best but it's not a piece of cake.
- recuter 5y ago
  Hence the roommates. HN is certainly the place for this kind of topic, it is one of the most important topics discussed here. I've been on this site for over a decade and was exactly in your shoes when I found it. Tech crap comes and goes and is repetitive. You'll sponge it all up sooner or later anyway. It is absolutely not a piece of cake, I know buddy. It requires a massive investment on your part and I am flailing around to really drive home the fact that it is worth literally ALL THE EFFORT YOU CAN MUSTER. Guaranteed. I sincerely hope you succeed in making the very necessary changes you know deep down you have to make. Best of luck!

ceasesurthinko 5y ago

If there's any solace for you, there are plenty of similarly brilliant kids as you that did stay in school to try to get that 'college' experience, and still are unsatisfied with themselves and feel out of place. Think about if you were in that normal streamlined path in college, would your personality and innate nature really do a 180? Highly doubt it, even though most people think they can exercise a locus of control and that external circumstances can change their deep inner character. There's a reason why you gravitated towards leaving school and being a young genius and working early. You live a unique (and impressive) life. Try to live your life out like a movie and don't look back at the what ifs. You're 20 too, haha. You're a baby. Your future is fucking unscripted. Don't worry about any of that shit. Your life is just starting.