4 ms·

Yeah I worked for a dude like this before. He'd come into the office literally in people's faces like screaming at the top of his lungs. He did that to me onc

Yeah I worked for a dude like this before. He'd come into the office literally in people's faces like screaming at the top of his lungs. He did that to me once and I told him to never talk to me again. If he needs something he can go through my manager. 6 months later the board decided he was too much of a liability and he resigned. He also had several sexual harassment lawsuits against him.

skeeter2020 5y ago
I'm pretty easy-going but also a 6'5" well-off white male, so I'd have no problem dealing with this sort of behaviour (emotional and/or physical) right before I found the door. I feel really bad with how a woman, minority or someone who really needed the pay cheque would have to deal with this.
- strikelaserclaw 5y ago
  what does your stature have to do with anything? This is an office settings, all bullying is done verbally, so dealing with this kind of behavior is more about "guts" than physical strength.
  - sshine 5y ago
    Obviously taller people, on average, have longer guts.
    - gumby 5y ago
      Is that true? I thought that a lot of the organs were more often than not about the same size in everyone, so the reason that tall people can appear more willowy and less tall people were more likely to be somewhat barrel shaped was simply that the latter needed to have their organs go someplace. Also that geriatric people tend to lose height as they age while their innards are the same, thus you get a bit of spread as you get old. But I never studied this so this may be some stray memory of something misunderstood.
  - acdha 5y ago
    It has a lot to do with it. All of the basic primate social dynamics are pretty obvious in the business world when you look around — ever notice how many C-level types there are who are who are tall, played sports in school, have firm handshakes, etc. whose skills don't match their prominence? Physical intimidation will definitely reinforce an existing power imbalance, at least from the perspective of the lower-ranked person being towered over. Look at things like office furniture — who gets the imposing chair, ends up looking down at people on the other side of a massive desk, etc. — and ask why that's so widespread if it doesn't matter.
    - zozbot234 5y ago
      > and ask why that's so widespread if it doesn't matter. Because people like that sort of thing - it's one of the job perks. But if you feel 'towered over' because of it, that's on you. Part of being professional is staying above these silly games.
      - acdha 5y ago
        > But if you feel 'towered over' because of it, that's on you. Part of being professional is staying above these silly games. Neither of these statements are absolute truths. Physical intimidation is a real effect, and it affects some people disproportionately — a high-status person might not care but someone who already dealing with being one or more degrees out of top status or who has a history of dealing with abuse might notice it more than you think. Similarly, while it's true that many of us learn to be thick-skinned and ignore things like this, that doesn't mean that it's desirable to have to do so or 100% effective. One of the things you'll learn as you learn more about it is that these small psychological cues can affect you even if you think you're above them and there's a cost to having to think strategically about things like this when the other party can focus their full attention on the surface issue. Most importantly, almost anyone who is prone to bullying is aware of these dynamics at some level. I'm tall/straight/white/male, never had to worry about finding another job, etc. and I've definitely had interactions where other people afterwards mentioned that they would have been afraid to stand up to someone's bullying because they can't afford the potential backlash. It's like the advice about salary negotiation where people who don't look like me have a LOT more stories about how they tried that with very different results.

skeeter2020 5y ago

I'm pretty easy-going but also a 6'5" well-off white male, so I'd have no problem dealing with this sort of behaviour (emotional and/or physical) right before I found the door. I feel really bad with how a woman, minority or someone who really needed the pay cheque would have to deal with this.

strikelaserclaw 5y ago
what does your stature have to do with anything? This is an office settings, all bullying is done verbally, so dealing with this kind of behavior is more about "guts" than physical strength.
- sshine 5y ago
  Obviously taller people, on average, have longer guts.
  - gumby 5y ago
    Is that true? I thought that a lot of the organs were more often than not about the same size in everyone, so the reason that tall people can appear more willowy and less tall people were more likely to be somewhat barrel shaped was simply that the latter needed to have their organs go someplace. Also that geriatric people tend to lose height as they age while their innards are the same, thus you get a bit of spread as you get old. But I never studied this so this may be some stray memory of something misunderstood.
- acdha 5y ago
  It has a lot to do with it. All of the basic primate social dynamics are pretty obvious in the business world when you look around — ever notice how many C-level types there are who are who are tall, played sports in school, have firm handshakes, etc. whose skills don't match their prominence? Physical intimidation will definitely reinforce an existing power imbalance, at least from the perspective of the lower-ranked person being towered over. Look at things like office furniture — who gets the imposing chair, ends up looking down at people on the other side of a massive desk, etc. — and ask why that's so widespread if it doesn't matter.
  - zozbot234 5y ago
    > and ask why that's so widespread if it doesn't matter. Because people like that sort of thing - it's one of the job perks. But if you feel 'towered over' because of it, that's on you. Part of being professional is staying above these silly games.
    - acdha 5y ago
      > But if you feel 'towered over' because of it, that's on you. Part of being professional is staying above these silly games. Neither of these statements are absolute truths. Physical intimidation is a real effect, and it affects some people disproportionately — a high-status person might not care but someone who already dealing with being one or more degrees out of top status or who has a history of dealing with abuse might notice it more than you think. Similarly, while it's true that many of us learn to be thick-skinned and ignore things like this, that doesn't mean that it's desirable to have to do so or 100% effective. One of the things you'll learn as you learn more about it is that these small psychological cues can affect you even if you think you're above them and there's a cost to having to think strategically about things like this when the other party can focus their full attention on the surface issue. Most importantly, almost anyone who is prone to bullying is aware of these dynamics at some level. I'm tall/straight/white/male, never had to worry about finding another job, etc. and I've definitely had interactions where other people afterwards mentioned that they would have been afraid to stand up to someone's bullying because they can't afford the potential backlash. It's like the advice about salary negotiation where people who don't look like me have a LOT more stories about how they tried that with very different results.