It seems like you are describing someone who would work well in jobs that position them as the underdog. Especially since we can say that you just stood up in t

It seems like you are describing someone who would work well in jobs that position them as the underdog. Especially since we can say that you just stood up in the company of a bunch of productive, competitive people and directly said, "I'm so not you." (Let's not look past the fact that this can be seen in some ways as a competitive, challenging stance.) So the fact that you can own this perspective in that way may say something about your resilience in subjectivity. Your ability to say "here's my thing, here's how I understand myself," combined with the conclusion, "let's say I don't change that. So what?" For the sake of reasonable contingency--just in case the opposites, all that grand stuff you _don't do_, starts to form into a cognitive blind spot later on, I'd probably start to objectively define those opposite things you are setting up against, ASAP. What is excellence really, what do people really expect of a non-boring person, and so on. This needs to be objectively outlined so it doesn't compromise your ability to keep an open mind if life change is ever really needed. On your question of uplifting yourself: I'd start with what you're showing you're good at right here--explaining your position gently, and seeing what other people offer in response. You will definitely be able to learn a lot of new perspectives that way. Eventually some of those positions can probably turn into experiments you can conduct, to find whether there are new paths worth exploring, or whether you already perceived them all. :-) You could document this, train others on it, use the experience for all kinds of advancement purposes toward uplifting yourself. Regardless, life is effort, career activity is effort--you'll be putting in some long-term effort anyway, so I think your circumspect analysis of such effort in this way is laudable and worthwhile. Good luck in wherever your path takes you. P.S. In regard to underdog paths, I'd look for underdog companies with counter-philosophies. Start with the extremes, heck even anti-work if you need to. It will be really important to find some grounding for your conceptual position and it's key to ground it where it connects well for starters. That will lend your efforts authenticity, which is key to seeing your thought position and experiments roll out in full effect.