7 ms·

Hello There! Former ADHD bro here. I was diagnosed with ADHD 10 months ago. At that time my life was a BIG BLOB of MESS and CHAOS. I started attending therapy

Hello There! Former ADHD bro here. I was diagnosed with ADHD 10 months ago. At that time my life was a BIG BLOB of MESS and CHAOS. I started attending therapy sessions with a really good Therapist once a week since then. After 6 months, I had sense of every way ADHD was affecting my life, but couldn't figure out how to overcome the symptoms by myself. My therapist recommended a psychiatrist, which prescribed Vyvanse 30mg (ADHD med), i started taking it 3 months ago. It changed everything. I got promoted on my current job, started a post-grad on Data Engineering at a top University here in Brazil. It made me build structures in my life, organize it's mess, gave me focus and HOPE. Productivity at it's best. I can't think how I could overcome my ADHD without my Therapist and meds. Before seeking a company that "fits your problems" i recommend you trying these first: 1. go to a really good therapist 2. Make sense on how your ADHD condition affects you 3. Try to overcome it 4. Go for meds if needed (LAST RESOURCE) 5. Keep trying Don't mix up your ADHD anxiety with depression, it is the worst loophole to dive in. Hope you find it all out

tailspin2019 5y ago
Congratulations on your progress and thanks for sharing your story. I think I'm a few steps behind you on this journey and it's great to hear how you've found a treatment program that works for you!
jstrodd 5y ago
Reading your comment makes me so nervous. I could have written it myself when I was in college. Back then, ADHD meds transformed my life for the better, at least during the first couple years. It was great! A pill solved all of my problems. But then, very slowly, over the course of years, I developed a much worse set of problems. Now, ten years later, I'm struggling with an addiction that affects every aspect of my life. I'm less productive than I was before I ever took meds. I've lost friends and become socially isolated. I fear that my executive function is permanently damaged. Meds don't even make me productive anymore, they just keep the withdrawal at bay. And the withdrawal is so bad that I can't even function enough to do a time sheet right for at least a week. I can't quit my meds without great difficulty because there is simply no way for me to do that while maintaining employment. I have a family to support, so I'm trapped using this drug that has been devastating to my life in a lot of ways I'd rather not share. Before I took meds, I was a little bit of an under-achiever and just a typical ADHD sufferer. But I was able to function and get by. Now, I'm barely able to function, and my life feels like it's constantly on the edge of falling apart due to what has become total dependency on the drug. The person I was back then is gone. Very little research has been done on the long-term effects of prescription stimulant use. I can't say you'll end up like me, but just know that there is a large and growing community of people like me who desperately wish they never took this drug.
- darkhorse13 5y ago
  I'm sorry about what happened to you, really sounds awful. Have you tried tapering your dose very slowly over a long time? Speaking from personal experience, that worked for me (thank God) with my med dependency.
- adhd_thraway 5y ago
  Please talk with your doctors about it, switch specialists if needed. If someone dismiss how you feel about yourself and your situation it's them who is wrong, not you. One of the reasons ADHD has a bad reputation is because Adderall et al. were given out like candies at some point. I'm 100% aware of that. I wouldn't be surprised if someone would be forced into ADHD box only because parents/doctors/someone else think they should be. Kid is underperforming? Hit it with meds. Too noisy? Same. I wouldn't be surprised neurotypical person would get boost from meds. I also don't believe ADHD can be managed with "here's a pill, go play" approach. It's a complex issue that requires complex solutions.
- annie_muss 5y ago
  Can you go into more detail about what withdrawal is like for you? I've been taking methylphenidate for ADHD recently and I want to know what to look out for.
  - bladegash 5y ago
    Not OP, but have been on stimulants off and on for a decade (tried various ones, with Vyvanse and Adderall being most effective, but the former triggering mania so can’t take anymore). YMMV, but “withdrawal” has never been more than a minor annoyance, even after years at relatively high dosage. Tired for a few days, a little bit lacking in motivation, definitely more difficult to concentrate. The concentration part is usually the hardest, but is not necessarily worse than before the drugs, you just forgot why you went on them to begin with or how bad your ability to focus really was. I will say, it can take some time to adapt to that lack of ability to focus though, as your coping mechanisms before you took medication are a bit atrophied due to no longer needing them. The physical withdrawals themself really aren’t problematic though.
  - 5y ago
thebigspacefuck 5y ago
Is your vyvanse like $300 a month? I was taking it and it helped with a lot of things but I stopped because it was so expensive. Therapy was expensive too
- halkony 5y ago
  There's no generic alternative for Vyvanse, so w/o insurance it's going to be costly. I have ADHD. I've tried both Adderall and Vyvanse, and IMO Vyvanse is the much cleaner feeling drug. Kinda glad the price point kept me out of it because it compelled me to find strategies that dont involve meds.
  - sjg007 5y ago
    Wellbutrin can help too.
  - pseudalopex 5y ago
    Vyvanse is an abuse resistant form of dextroamphetamine basically. Generic dextroamphetamine is an alternative if it's legal in your country. Adderall is a combination of dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine.
- anonymoushn 5y ago
  I think a lot of vendors carry generic Desoxyn at very affordable prices.
  - sph 5y ago
    It's not the same substance. Desoxyn is pharmaceutical methamphetamine. Vyvanse is lisdexamphetamine, a slow release version of dexamphetamine. Don't be mislead by the name, they're quite different. And methamphetamine is very rarely prescribed, only when everything else fails. While Vyvanse is usually first line treatment.
    - anonymoushn 5y ago
      I did not mean to suggest that they were the same substance. Reviews by people with ADHD people who have tried many meds paint a rosy picture of this particular medication. The order in which doctors prescribe things seems mostly unrelated to which things are best for patients.
halkony 5y ago
I got an ADHD diagnosis at 25. Didn't really surprise me, but I went to see a physician with the intent purpose of getting meds to help me. I told the truth and was able to get a Vyvanse script pretty easily. Interestingly, I didn't take the meds for very long, despite their more addictive qualities. About a year later, I had an emotional epiphany at a friend's wedding that cured the leftovers of my depression. It really rocked me to my core. Now my body experiences the world in a way I didn't know was possible. I read in passing somewhere that ~35% of ADHD patients that take Adderall report therapeutic effects (like I had), but I don't recall the source. If anyone knew more about that I'd be interested to hear it.
- maybeadhd 5y ago
  I'd be really interested in hearing about the epiphany you experienced, if it's something you're comfortable sharing.
  - halkony 5y ago
    Sure, I'm really open about my experience. I've always been a sensitive person, but at 25, I found myself acting callously because of a history of being neglected. It was a reasonable choice for my life. Effective. I escaped poverty with that worldview and it was reinforced. I went to a wedding last spring, and the powerful feelings that day made me more sensitive than usual. Something happened that really really made me feel like shit. I brought a date, and for a number of reasons, she acted very cold and distant with me. At times she was disgusted (which I empathized with, but had trouble dealing with). She ended up spending the night with another man. That made me feel awful. Then something happened that really really made me feel good. This wedding was in my hometown. I had a friend I'd known during 6th grade, but we quickly grew apart because of my volatile domestic circumstances. I shared a lot with this friend about enjoying Actionscript3, even showing him code demonstrations on my laptop at school. The night of that wedding I learned from his mother that, though our friendship was brief, I deeply inspired him to start a successful business programming car engine computers. She told me directly, "I don't think you know how much you affected him." He was at that wedding with his wife and 4 year old daughter. And I thought "Damn, I'm such an amazing person that I inspired this man to start a business to provide for his family. So why do I feel like shit?" I was on Adderall at the time, and I entered a state of mania. No model for my understanding of other people could reconcile the two feelings. It's simultaneously the most painful and wonderful thing that's ever happened to me. I ended up driving home at 3am after I sobered up. On that 3 hour drive I got to process all the feelings that didn't make sense to me. At some point, I looked into the darkness of the highway and a Jackson Pollock painting was staring back at me. It was surreal. After struggling to find the words that morning, I found what I was looking for: We all build pillars of personality, and they are not as strong as we think they are. The moment those words popped into my head, I felt an immediate relief in my chest, around my heart. I used to feel like my mind had to consult my chest before I did anything. I leaned so much on my primal, animal responses without realizing it. And it destroyed my mental health. Now I could willingly feel any part of my body without agitating it. It was beautiful. For the next week I'd wake up in the morning and think "My body is so loose. Do I really feel this good?". Unbelievable. Since then I stopped taking the Adderall, quit alcohol and quit drugs. That journey has been messy and it's taken time, but I'm proud of it. I learned that being proud of myself meant I had to be proud of the moments I've hurt people just as much as I'm proud of the moments I inspire people. Because that's what it means to be me -- not to live for what's right or what's wrong, but to live and simply be.
anonymoushn 5y ago
Eating stimulants should be the first thing on the list, given that the condition is likely to prevent people from progressing through lists.

tailspin2019 5y ago

Congratulations on your progress and thanks for sharing your story. I think I'm a few steps behind you on this journey and it's great to hear how you've found a treatment program that works for you!

jstrodd 5y ago

Reading your comment makes me so nervous. I could have written it myself when I was in college. Back then, ADHD meds transformed my life for the better, at least during the first couple years. It was great! A pill solved all of my problems. But then, very slowly, over the course of years, I developed a much worse set of problems. Now, ten years later, I'm struggling with an addiction that affects every aspect of my life. I'm less productive than I was before I ever took meds. I've lost friends and become socially isolated. I fear that my executive function is permanently damaged. Meds don't even make me productive anymore, they just keep the withdrawal at bay. And the withdrawal is so bad that I can't even function enough to do a time sheet right for at least a week. I can't quit my meds without great difficulty because there is simply no way for me to do that while maintaining employment. I have a family to support, so I'm trapped using this drug that has been devastating to my life in a lot of ways I'd rather not share. Before I took meds, I was a little bit of an under-achiever and just a typical ADHD sufferer. But I was able to function and get by. Now, I'm barely able to function, and my life feels like it's constantly on the edge of falling apart due to what has become total dependency on the drug. The person I was back then is gone. Very little research has been done on the long-term effects of prescription stimulant use. I can't say you'll end up like me, but just know that there is a large and growing community of people like me who desperately wish they never took this drug.

darkhorse13 5y ago
I'm sorry about what happened to you, really sounds awful. Have you tried tapering your dose very slowly over a long time? Speaking from personal experience, that worked for me (thank God) with my med dependency.
adhd_thraway 5y ago
Please talk with your doctors about it, switch specialists if needed. If someone dismiss how you feel about yourself and your situation it's them who is wrong, not you. One of the reasons ADHD has a bad reputation is because Adderall et al. were given out like candies at some point. I'm 100% aware of that. I wouldn't be surprised if someone would be forced into ADHD box only because parents/doctors/someone else think they should be. Kid is underperforming? Hit it with meds. Too noisy? Same. I wouldn't be surprised neurotypical person would get boost from meds. I also don't believe ADHD can be managed with "here's a pill, go play" approach. It's a complex issue that requires complex solutions.
annie_muss 5y ago
Can you go into more detail about what withdrawal is like for you? I've been taking methylphenidate for ADHD recently and I want to know what to look out for.
- bladegash 5y ago
  Not OP, but have been on stimulants off and on for a decade (tried various ones, with Vyvanse and Adderall being most effective, but the former triggering mania so can’t take anymore). YMMV, but “withdrawal” has never been more than a minor annoyance, even after years at relatively high dosage. Tired for a few days, a little bit lacking in motivation, definitely more difficult to concentrate. The concentration part is usually the hardest, but is not necessarily worse than before the drugs, you just forgot why you went on them to begin with or how bad your ability to focus really was. I will say, it can take some time to adapt to that lack of ability to focus though, as your coping mechanisms before you took medication are a bit atrophied due to no longer needing them. The physical withdrawals themself really aren’t problematic though.
- 5y ago

thebigspacefuck 5y ago

Is your vyvanse like $300 a month? I was taking it and it helped with a lot of things but I stopped because it was so expensive. Therapy was expensive too

halkony 5y ago
There's no generic alternative for Vyvanse, so w/o insurance it's going to be costly. I have ADHD. I've tried both Adderall and Vyvanse, and IMO Vyvanse is the much cleaner feeling drug. Kinda glad the price point kept me out of it because it compelled me to find strategies that dont involve meds.
- sjg007 5y ago
  Wellbutrin can help too.
- pseudalopex 5y ago
  Vyvanse is an abuse resistant form of dextroamphetamine basically. Generic dextroamphetamine is an alternative if it's legal in your country. Adderall is a combination of dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine.
anonymoushn 5y ago
I think a lot of vendors carry generic Desoxyn at very affordable prices.
- sph 5y ago
  It's not the same substance. Desoxyn is pharmaceutical methamphetamine. Vyvanse is lisdexamphetamine, a slow release version of dexamphetamine. Don't be mislead by the name, they're quite different. And methamphetamine is very rarely prescribed, only when everything else fails. While Vyvanse is usually first line treatment.
  - anonymoushn 5y ago
    I did not mean to suggest that they were the same substance. Reviews by people with ADHD people who have tried many meds paint a rosy picture of this particular medication. The order in which doctors prescribe things seems mostly unrelated to which things are best for patients.

halkony 5y ago

I got an ADHD diagnosis at 25. Didn't really surprise me, but I went to see a physician with the intent purpose of getting meds to help me. I told the truth and was able to get a Vyvanse script pretty easily. Interestingly, I didn't take the meds for very long, despite their more addictive qualities. About a year later, I had an emotional epiphany at a friend's wedding that cured the leftovers of my depression. It really rocked me to my core. Now my body experiences the world in a way I didn't know was possible. I read in passing somewhere that ~35% of ADHD patients that take Adderall report therapeutic effects (like I had), but I don't recall the source. If anyone knew more about that I'd be interested to hear it.

maybeadhd 5y ago
I'd be really interested in hearing about the epiphany you experienced, if it's something you're comfortable sharing.
- halkony 5y ago
  Sure, I'm really open about my experience. I've always been a sensitive person, but at 25, I found myself acting callously because of a history of being neglected. It was a reasonable choice for my life. Effective. I escaped poverty with that worldview and it was reinforced. I went to a wedding last spring, and the powerful feelings that day made me more sensitive than usual. Something happened that really really made me feel like shit. I brought a date, and for a number of reasons, she acted very cold and distant with me. At times she was disgusted (which I empathized with, but had trouble dealing with). She ended up spending the night with another man. That made me feel awful. Then something happened that really really made me feel good. This wedding was in my hometown. I had a friend I'd known during 6th grade, but we quickly grew apart because of my volatile domestic circumstances. I shared a lot with this friend about enjoying Actionscript3, even showing him code demonstrations on my laptop at school. The night of that wedding I learned from his mother that, though our friendship was brief, I deeply inspired him to start a successful business programming car engine computers. She told me directly, "I don't think you know how much you affected him." He was at that wedding with his wife and 4 year old daughter. And I thought "Damn, I'm such an amazing person that I inspired this man to start a business to provide for his family. So why do I feel like shit?" I was on Adderall at the time, and I entered a state of mania. No model for my understanding of other people could reconcile the two feelings. It's simultaneously the most painful and wonderful thing that's ever happened to me. I ended up driving home at 3am after I sobered up. On that 3 hour drive I got to process all the feelings that didn't make sense to me. At some point, I looked into the darkness of the highway and a Jackson Pollock painting was staring back at me. It was surreal. After struggling to find the words that morning, I found what I was looking for: We all build pillars of personality, and they are not as strong as we think they are. The moment those words popped into my head, I felt an immediate relief in my chest, around my heart. I used to feel like my mind had to consult my chest before I did anything. I leaned so much on my primal, animal responses without realizing it. And it destroyed my mental health. Now I could willingly feel any part of my body without agitating it. It was beautiful. For the next week I'd wake up in the morning and think "My body is so loose. Do I really feel this good?". Unbelievable. Since then I stopped taking the Adderall, quit alcohol and quit drugs. That journey has been messy and it's taken time, but I'm proud of it. I learned that being proud of myself meant I had to be proud of the moments I've hurt people just as much as I'm proud of the moments I inspire people. Because that's what it means to be me -- not to live for what's right or what's wrong, but to live and simply be.

anonymoushn 5y ago

Eating stimulants should be the first thing on the list, given that the condition is likely to prevent people from progressing through lists.