The targets of the slur are the ones who get to decide to co-opt it or not and if they want outsiders to use it not. The n-word has been co-opted, in a fashion

The targets of the slur are the ones who get to decide to co-opt it or not and if they want outsiders to use it not. The n-word has been co-opted, in a fashion, by the black community. Members of the black community, for the largest part, would still would be offended if I used that word. Queer has been co-opted by the LGBQT+ community, members of that community have asked me to use queer to describe them. Still feels weird to me to even to type it here. The f-word is out of bounds. Freedom of speech lets you use any of those words but, like all speech, others may judge you harshly because of those words and how you use them. Really, this isn't hard to figure out.