I liked Deborah Tannen's remarks in the afterword of a reprint of "You Just Don't Understand". The book is about her observations that some conflict between me

I liked Deborah Tannen's remarks in the afterword of a reprint of "You Just Don't Understand". The book is about her observations that some conflict between men & women resembles inter-cultural conflict; i.e. men would talk with a different set of cultural attitudes than women. She said that people asked her how much that came down to nature vs culture. If nature, then the differences are what they are, and culture doesn't need to (and cannot fundamentally) change. If cultural, then inequality would reduce by ironing out the differences. As I understand it, worry about gendered-for-girls toys comes from the latter view. (Differences lead to inequality). (FWIW, Tannen's suggested solution is that differences as they are now should be recognised and worked-with).