5 ms·

Never said that these people were bad. Just stating my reaction to them is blunted and no longer affects my productivity. Your framework of dealing with people

by twayt 5y ago

Never said that these people were bad. Just stating my reaction to them is blunted and no longer affects my productivity. Your framework of dealing with people seems different from mine. What in this post strikes you as “opting out”? That comment doesn’t make sense to me and some clarification would be great. Also, do these things not bother you or do you simply have a different way of dealing with it so that you don’t feel bad about it?

alecbz 5y ago
I think these kinds of difficulties with dealing with people are a common but "normal" and "intended" part of life, and my 0.02 is that it's better to learn how to navigate and live with these situations instead of solving the issue by removing people from the equation. I brought up bad people in part because some people do just suck, are toxic, etc., and often just cutting those people out is the right move. You're not really getting anything by letting them influence or affect you; it's just negatively affecting your quality of life. But I think ~most people have some good and some bad about them. Things about them will annoy, bother, anger, or distract you, but other parts of knowing them will be rewarding and fulfilling to your life overall. So I think it's valuable to learn how to weather the bad so you can benefit from the good.
- twayt 5y ago
  I don't think being able to navigate these situations and not exposing yourself to them at the behest of your productivity and peace are mutually exclusive. You might be able to tolerate something but choose not to expose yourself to it unnecessarily. In the other comment you posted, you mentioned how working from home makes you more sensitive to such issues. That seems to be a direct parallel of this situation. You should do what's most convenient for you, not forcefully expose yourself to a shitty situation for no reason.
  - alecbz 5y ago
    > not forcefully expose yourself to a shitty situation for no reason. Well my whole point is that there's not 'no reason'. (Except sometimes in the case of genuinely bad/toxic people, like I mention). Maybe a more general way of saying what I'm saying: I think convenience-maximization finds local optima too aggressively. I think life oughta be a bit more like simulated annealing.

by twayt 5y ago

alecbz 5y ago

I think these kinds of difficulties with dealing with people are a common but "normal" and "intended" part of life, and my 0.02 is that it's better to learn how to navigate and live with these situations instead of solving the issue by removing people from the equation. I brought up bad people in part because some people do just suck, are toxic, etc., and often just cutting those people out is the right move. You're not really getting anything by letting them influence or affect you; it's just negatively affecting your quality of life. But I think ~most people have some good and some bad about them. Things about them will annoy, bother, anger, or distract you, but other parts of knowing them will be rewarding and fulfilling to your life overall. So I think it's valuable to learn how to weather the bad so you can benefit from the good.

twayt 5y ago
I don't think being able to navigate these situations and not exposing yourself to them at the behest of your productivity and peace are mutually exclusive. You might be able to tolerate something but choose not to expose yourself to it unnecessarily. In the other comment you posted, you mentioned how working from home makes you more sensitive to such issues. That seems to be a direct parallel of this situation. You should do what's most convenient for you, not forcefully expose yourself to a shitty situation for no reason.
- alecbz 5y ago
  > not forcefully expose yourself to a shitty situation for no reason. Well my whole point is that there's not 'no reason'. (Except sometimes in the case of genuinely bad/toxic people, like I mention). Maybe a more general way of saying what I'm saying: I think convenience-maximization finds local optima too aggressively. I think life oughta be a bit more like simulated annealing.