I used to work at a dating service, pre-Web. It still had a computerized aspect to it, not just in terms of management but also in suggesting matches. I was i

I used to work at a dating service, pre-Web. It still had a computerized aspect to it, not just in terms of management but also in suggesting matches. I was involved at all levels but I spent a great deal of the time with the data. Nothing I saw then as a problem I don't see now; the online portion of it has merely intensified and exaggerated any issues. Possibly the only thing that could help (I would never say fix) would be reputation, which is to say that you could learn about the behaviors of others. This person spams out hundreds of messages. That person never replies. This one ghosts. This one only talks to the top twentieth percentile of attractiveness, or income, or whatever. Incentives are mis-aligned, to be certain. In a perfect world, you would have some kind of specific measurable goal and the service would be paid when that goal was met: perhaps marriage, perhaps a lot of one night stands, etc. As it is, they give you a hunting license and drop you off in the forest with a penknife. I am not certain that such a service could actually survive. But that isn't enough. People's incentives are mis-aligned: some want to get laid, some want a free dinner, some want attention, some are looking for a Christian soulmate, and so on, and people cannot be counted on to be honest about their goals. Often, they aren't honest with themselves, so honesty with another person is simply too much to ask. That honesty simply won't come to pass as long as we continue to hide the truth. Recall how OKCupid had a blog of statistical analysis and how some of the less comfortable results of those analyses vanished after Match.com took over. In our current political climate, the merest suggestion that men might be disadvantaged in some fashion will be met with hostility and a sarcastic "Boo-hoo, cry me a river!" attitude. It already happened in this thread. So, the idea that both men and women might have behavior that could be changed is simply ... no sale.