5 ms·

The only thing worse than school is not being around kids your age. Also, as far as I can tell, “school sucks” is very much an Anglo thing. I went to primary s

The only thing worse than school is not being around kids your age. Also, as far as I can tell, “school sucks” is very much an Anglo thing. I went to primary school in English, in continental Europe, and in Latin America. The latter two were great, but my school in an English speaking country was awful, basically social Darwinism, and well described by Waters, Orwell and Hollywood.

jsiaajdsdaa 5y ago
Spent my whole child life being tormented by school bullies. Did drugs and alcohol in college. Studied history so as to not fail. Graduated, began programming on my own time, 9 years later I'm making $300,000 a year as a programmer. Only people I talk to are my wife, my mom, and a few people on Discord about 3d graphics. I can safely tell you that human interaction in the sense of "make 300 friends at school so that you aren't considered a freak or loner!" was never necessary, and in fact was an active burden.
- starik36 5y ago
  This might be the most "programmer" post I've seen on the site today.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  - jsiaajdsdaa 5y ago
    But I am a productive and responsible member of society and I have a good relationship with those who matter to me. I also volunteer my time online to those less fortunate. Why did I need to be hazed for 18 years?
    - BobbyJo 5y ago
      You didn't 'need' to be, you were just unlucky. Some people get the short straw. There is always some number of short straws, and some people have to get them.
      - closeparen 5y ago
        It’s a government institution, not a volcano. Everything about how it works is quite deliberate. Specific, identifiable human beings take positive actions to make sure it happens and make sure you personally are there, having it happen to you. This passive framing is bizarre.
- SCUSKU 5y ago
  I am certainly sorry for your past experiences with bullying, trying to meet expectations, and potentially using drugs and alcohol as a crutch. However, I think it may be worth reconsidering your position that only talking to or having relationships 2 people IRL is satisfactory. Precious negative experiences with people does not mean all people are bad. With effort, you will certainly find people who expand your worldview and enrich your life. Best wishes.
  - jsiaajdsdaa 5y ago
    Thanks for writing and I appreciate everything you've said :) I'm certainly not like, inherently distrustful of people or a shut in. Actually I'm quite talkative and find it pretty natural to talk to people. I just don't think that kids should have to be forced into the same building for so many years of their life. Voluntary school is great, but I don't think the trope is always true that homeschooled kids are "freaks and loners and nerds who will faceplant in the real world", which is my opinion on what the popular sentiment is here. I don't think the risks of in person school outweigh the benefits.
    - SCUSKU 5y ago
      Gotcha, I apologize if I came off a bit condescendingly, it's just hard to tell how people truly are based on a single internet comment. I just have friends who have really shut themselves in light of COVID, I think almost to their certain detriment. And I have found myself in similar patterns, and have recently begun correcting that and have been on a bit of a personal crusade to combat anti-socialism in the guise of introversion. But I digress. I was wondering if you elaborate on your position regarding homeschooling and the risks of in person school a bit more? I am curious to hear your perspective. Thanks!
- phs318u 5y ago
  If anyone has 300 people they call "friends", then they are not friends. Acquaintances perhaps.
- blarneystone 5y ago
  People have varying needs for human interaction. For most, this much interaction will result in some pretty severe serotonin deficiencies and debilitating depression. If you have very low social needs then all power to you, but it shouldn't be a template in any sense for the average person.
- BobbyJo 5y ago
  Do you think your situation is common or an outlier? If you think you're an outlier, then it's not super relevant. I was in the total opposite boat. I got bullied here and there (I was the classic gangly tall kid, still am at 35), but school was the sole source of normalcy in my life for most of my adolescence. I'd be willing to bet that the extremes on either end mostly cancel out, and, for the vast majority, school is a net positive because of the socialization and the opportunity to get information that isn't filtered through your parents.
- jollybean 5y ago
  It's a good thing that life is more than producing hyper focussed individuals who only want to 'program and chat on discord'.
  - jsiaajdsdaa 5y ago
    How does this translate to "as a result we must force all children to socialize together in person until they are 18"?
    - tagoregrtst 5y ago
      Children, universally as far as I can tell, want to be with other children. As we mature we want other things, more time alone, and with abusive schools we might recoil at being forced to periodically be with our tormentors. Forcing 16 year olds to socialize is stupid though.
    - jollybean 5y ago
      Because socialization is utterly and fundamentally critical to human development. We may not need to be with each other 8 hours a day, but that bit is a matter of pragmatism. FYI you are not 'forced'. If your parents want you to stay at home, they can do that. If they want the state to provide your education, it's 30 to a room. And of course, you can pay $50K/year to have 5 per class private school.
- tagoregrtst 5y ago
  Im an introvert, Id happily only interact with my family (some of them), my wife’s family (fewer of them) and my two closest friends. But I wouldn't say Im normal. Far from it

jsiaajdsdaa 5y ago

Spent my whole child life being tormented by school bullies. Did drugs and alcohol in college. Studied history so as to not fail. Graduated, began programming on my own time, 9 years later I'm making $300,000 a year as a programmer. Only people I talk to are my wife, my mom, and a few people on Discord about 3d graphics. I can safely tell you that human interaction in the sense of "make 300 friends at school so that you aren't considered a freak or loner!" was never necessary, and in fact was an active burden.

starik36 5y ago
This might be the most "programmer" post I've seen on the site today.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- jsiaajdsdaa 5y ago
  But I am a productive and responsible member of society and I have a good relationship with those who matter to me. I also volunteer my time online to those less fortunate. Why did I need to be hazed for 18 years?
  - BobbyJo 5y ago
    You didn't 'need' to be, you were just unlucky. Some people get the short straw. There is always some number of short straws, and some people have to get them.
    - closeparen 5y ago
      It’s a government institution, not a volcano. Everything about how it works is quite deliberate. Specific, identifiable human beings take positive actions to make sure it happens and make sure you personally are there, having it happen to you. This passive framing is bizarre.
SCUSKU 5y ago
I am certainly sorry for your past experiences with bullying, trying to meet expectations, and potentially using drugs and alcohol as a crutch. However, I think it may be worth reconsidering your position that only talking to or having relationships 2 people IRL is satisfactory. Precious negative experiences with people does not mean all people are bad. With effort, you will certainly find people who expand your worldview and enrich your life. Best wishes.
- jsiaajdsdaa 5y ago
  Thanks for writing and I appreciate everything you've said :) I'm certainly not like, inherently distrustful of people or a shut in. Actually I'm quite talkative and find it pretty natural to talk to people. I just don't think that kids should have to be forced into the same building for so many years of their life. Voluntary school is great, but I don't think the trope is always true that homeschooled kids are "freaks and loners and nerds who will faceplant in the real world", which is my opinion on what the popular sentiment is here. I don't think the risks of in person school outweigh the benefits.
  - SCUSKU 5y ago
    Gotcha, I apologize if I came off a bit condescendingly, it's just hard to tell how people truly are based on a single internet comment. I just have friends who have really shut themselves in light of COVID, I think almost to their certain detriment. And I have found myself in similar patterns, and have recently begun correcting that and have been on a bit of a personal crusade to combat anti-socialism in the guise of introversion. But I digress. I was wondering if you elaborate on your position regarding homeschooling and the risks of in person school a bit more? I am curious to hear your perspective. Thanks!
phs318u 5y ago
If anyone has 300 people they call "friends", then they are not friends. Acquaintances perhaps.
blarneystone 5y ago
People have varying needs for human interaction. For most, this much interaction will result in some pretty severe serotonin deficiencies and debilitating depression. If you have very low social needs then all power to you, but it shouldn't be a template in any sense for the average person.
BobbyJo 5y ago
Do you think your situation is common or an outlier? If you think you're an outlier, then it's not super relevant. I was in the total opposite boat. I got bullied here and there (I was the classic gangly tall kid, still am at 35), but school was the sole source of normalcy in my life for most of my adolescence. I'd be willing to bet that the extremes on either end mostly cancel out, and, for the vast majority, school is a net positive because of the socialization and the opportunity to get information that isn't filtered through your parents.
jollybean 5y ago
It's a good thing that life is more than producing hyper focussed individuals who only want to 'program and chat on discord'.
- jsiaajdsdaa 5y ago
  How does this translate to "as a result we must force all children to socialize together in person until they are 18"?
  - tagoregrtst 5y ago
    Children, universally as far as I can tell, want to be with other children. As we mature we want other things, more time alone, and with abusive schools we might recoil at being forced to periodically be with our tormentors. Forcing 16 year olds to socialize is stupid though.
  - jollybean 5y ago
    Because socialization is utterly and fundamentally critical to human development. We may not need to be with each other 8 hours a day, but that bit is a matter of pragmatism. FYI you are not 'forced'. If your parents want you to stay at home, they can do that. If they want the state to provide your education, it's 30 to a room. And of course, you can pay $50K/year to have 5 per class private school.
tagoregrtst 5y ago
Im an introvert, Id happily only interact with my family (some of them), my wife’s family (fewer of them) and my two closest friends. But I wouldn't say Im normal. Far from it