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> Start dating. It might be a drag and maybe embarrassing at times, but obviously not being a loser having saved up half a mil in 10 years, you will probably fi

> Start dating. It might be a drag and maybe embarrassing at times, but obviously not being a loser having saved up half a mil in 10 years, you will probably find someone. I wish that was true. For me, dating became incredibly harder after 40 even though my social status has considerably increased.

parentheses 5y ago
A big part of dating is knowing where to look and what for. 99% of single people don't do either of those right. As OP said (paraphrasing on mobile) > soulmates are hype Another commenter said: > marry up emotionally Emotional hygeine is imo the biggest contributor to a stable relationship. I'm a stupid curmudgeonly weirdo but my wife is a gem of a woman and she keeps me going. Her positivity and our healthy debate about literally everything makes sure everything is going well and we're happy. Hidden gems are around and I feel that literature/media over romanticizes serendipity among other things in dating and relationships. Dating apps are terrible. There's a HN post doing BOTE math about dating that will blow your mind. Make friends. Friends and siblings (not parents or uncles/aunts) make the best matchmakers if you are open when you want to date someone.
datavirtue 5y ago
I have been happily married for decades. We have friends who are dating late in life. No envy here. I feel sorry for anyone on a dating app. What a shit show.
- ohwellhere 5y ago
  I'm coming into it at 40 now that I'm far enough past divorce that I'm not an absolute wreck. It is absolutely a shit show and was far far easier in my 20s.
- bradlys 5y ago
  It’s a shit show for most any straight man. Dating is something you’ll have to relegate to the old real world as a straight man. Too many straight men on dating apps. The apps know how to drain men of their money. Better to try real life methods - even though they are incredibly difficult and resoundingly terrible overall too. The most difficult part could just be getting in front of someone you find attractive - dating apps make it relatively easy to find the attractive ones even if they put them behind a paywall.

parentheses 5y ago

A big part of dating is knowing where to look and what for. 99% of single people don't do either of those right. As OP said (paraphrasing on mobile) > soulmates are hype Another commenter said: > marry up emotionally Emotional hygeine is imo the biggest contributor to a stable relationship. I'm a stupid curmudgeonly weirdo but my wife is a gem of a woman and she keeps me going. Her positivity and our healthy debate about literally everything makes sure everything is going well and we're happy. Hidden gems are around and I feel that literature/media over romanticizes serendipity among other things in dating and relationships. Dating apps are terrible. There's a HN post doing BOTE math about dating that will blow your mind. Make friends. Friends and siblings (not parents or uncles/aunts) make the best matchmakers if you are open when you want to date someone.

datavirtue 5y ago

I have been happily married for decades. We have friends who are dating late in life. No envy here. I feel sorry for anyone on a dating app. What a shit show.

ohwellhere 5y ago
I'm coming into it at 40 now that I'm far enough past divorce that I'm not an absolute wreck. It is absolutely a shit show and was far far easier in my 20s.
bradlys 5y ago
It’s a shit show for most any straight man. Dating is something you’ll have to relegate to the old real world as a straight man. Too many straight men on dating apps. The apps know how to drain men of their money. Better to try real life methods - even though they are incredibly difficult and resoundingly terrible overall too. The most difficult part could just be getting in front of someone you find attractive - dating apps make it relatively easy to find the attractive ones even if they put them behind a paywall.