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It sounds like you haven't had the experience of being fired without notice, with one month of rent in savings. Companies literally don't care whether you die.

It sounds like you haven't had the experience of being fired without notice, with one month of rent in savings. Companies literally don't care whether you die. Why would you pour your heart and soul into something so soulless? When I felt as you did, it ended up causing interpersonal conflicts when my vision of "good" didn't match my coworkers'. If you pour your heart and soul into something, and then everyone disagrees that it's good, then empirically you were a net negative for the team. Strike two for soulpouring. I understand you might want to remain anonymous, but it's also telling that you didn't link to any examples of the work that you're proud of. My point is, try not to judge others for not feeling as you do. Empathy is a difficult art, but it's worthwhile. It wasn't till I was diagnosed with narcolepsy that most of my work history made sense in hindsight -- zero companies were tolerant to missed meetings, with the thankful exception of my current role. (I wrote about my experiences here: https://twitter.com/theshawwn/status/1392213804684038150 https://twitter.com/theshawwn/status/1392213804684038150) And no matter how much you care about your work, I bet you don't pour your heart and soul into meetings. So it always felt like the world cared about things I didn't, which in turn made me stop caring beyond professionalism. But professionalism has merit. Once I detached my ego, I was able to take orders well, and to execute someone else's vision well. "Tool" is another name for that sort of person. And although I don't enjoy being a tool, I'm well-compensated for it, and the counterparty and I both walk away happy.

jart 5y ago
Companies normally don't fire a crackerjack but that happened to me back in the 2000's during one of the more vulnerable parts of my life. The vice president who recruited me took a higher paying gig at a competitor. Then my manager went on a weeklong vacation. I showed up to work one day and found that my computer couldn't access the network. I asked the IT guy what happened and with a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead he was like, uhh talk to the new VP. Turns out first day on the job, he decided to can me. When my manager came back from vacation and learned what they'd done, he immediately tendered his resignation. Really unfortunate. But I checked and they're still using my code. But it doesn't matter, because one goofball VP doesn't shake my faith in myself and the meaningfulness of the work that myself and my colleagues are doing. You might have lost faith but that doesn't mean other people should too. The GP wasn't just musing about his own life. He very explicitly said you and came across as saying your life doesn't matter if work is the thing that matters to you, because your work will never matter unless you're Gates. I don't accept that and I won't empathize with that conclusion. Because it's demoralizing and insulting to everyone who's working hard. If his truth was accepted as everyone's truth, then could you imagine how unpleasant the world would be? The simple fact is that your family matters and your work matters too. Regardless of whatever misfortune or doom and gloom you may have encountered on your journey.
- sillysaurusx 5y ago
  “Companies don’t fire a crackerjack” implies that you’ve always been seen as an all-star team member. Consider an alternate universe where you were never allowed to feel like an all-star, because you were never able to show up for meetings on time, and people got progressively madder at you regardless of how much soul or effort you put in. We’re probably two sides of the same coin. You got lucky at all your jobs, and I got unlucky. But it certainly made me think twice about thinking badly of people who get fired, regardless of official reasons. (Your manager seemed to actually care about you on a personal level? That ~never happens.)
  - jart 5y ago
    What you call luck, I'd call magic. The important thing to understand about magic tricks is they're really not all that magical once you learn how to perform them. People are also willing to overlook a great deal when they believe you're a luckbringer. My manager for instance cared about me on a personal level because I was contributing to his success. When the VP took me away, it weakened him.
    - sillysaurusx 5y ago
      How do you do that when your manager always considers you an unreliable risk? I think you're dramatically underestimating how much it matters to be punctual in the vast majority of companies, regardless of whether your code output is reliable.
      - csdvrx 5y ago
        Then you find a new manager, in a different team maybe, who aligns with your values and respect your strengths. There are many different types of people in any company. It takes 2 to tango, and I'm sure one of these managers will be delighted to find someone just like them! As for punctuality, there are many people who are punctual but couldn't code their way out of paperback, let alone fight they way out of a soaking wet one :) Guess who'll be brought in to the rescue when they predictibly fail? Your perspective matters a lot. It will color your actions. Punctuality or even code reliability ultimately doesn't matter. What matters is if you can bring more money to the company, one way or another. If you are doing sales meetings, it may be punctuality. If you are doing tech work on the core infrastructure, it may be code reliability. Find your own niche, surrounded by people who like you and need the unique strengths you bring to the table.

jart 5y ago

Companies normally don't fire a crackerjack but that happened to me back in the 2000's during one of the more vulnerable parts of my life. The vice president who recruited me took a higher paying gig at a competitor. Then my manager went on a weeklong vacation. I showed up to work one day and found that my computer couldn't access the network. I asked the IT guy what happened and with a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead he was like, uhh talk to the new VP. Turns out first day on the job, he decided to can me. When my manager came back from vacation and learned what they'd done, he immediately tendered his resignation. Really unfortunate. But I checked and they're still using my code. But it doesn't matter, because one goofball VP doesn't shake my faith in myself and the meaningfulness of the work that myself and my colleagues are doing. You might have lost faith but that doesn't mean other people should too. The GP wasn't just musing about his own life. He very explicitly said you and came across as saying your life doesn't matter if work is the thing that matters to you, because your work will never matter unless you're Gates. I don't accept that and I won't empathize with that conclusion. Because it's demoralizing and insulting to everyone who's working hard. If his truth was accepted as everyone's truth, then could you imagine how unpleasant the world would be? The simple fact is that your family matters and your work matters too. Regardless of whatever misfortune or doom and gloom you may have encountered on your journey.

sillysaurusx 5y ago
“Companies don’t fire a crackerjack” implies that you’ve always been seen as an all-star team member. Consider an alternate universe where you were never allowed to feel like an all-star, because you were never able to show up for meetings on time, and people got progressively madder at you regardless of how much soul or effort you put in. We’re probably two sides of the same coin. You got lucky at all your jobs, and I got unlucky. But it certainly made me think twice about thinking badly of people who get fired, regardless of official reasons. (Your manager seemed to actually care about you on a personal level? That ~never happens.)
- jart 5y ago
  What you call luck, I'd call magic. The important thing to understand about magic tricks is they're really not all that magical once you learn how to perform them. People are also willing to overlook a great deal when they believe you're a luckbringer. My manager for instance cared about me on a personal level because I was contributing to his success. When the VP took me away, it weakened him.
  - sillysaurusx 5y ago
    How do you do that when your manager always considers you an unreliable risk? I think you're dramatically underestimating how much it matters to be punctual in the vast majority of companies, regardless of whether your code output is reliable.
    - csdvrx 5y ago
      Then you find a new manager, in a different team maybe, who aligns with your values and respect your strengths. There are many different types of people in any company. It takes 2 to tango, and I'm sure one of these managers will be delighted to find someone just like them! As for punctuality, there are many people who are punctual but couldn't code their way out of paperback, let alone fight they way out of a soaking wet one :) Guess who'll be brought in to the rescue when they predictibly fail? Your perspective matters a lot. It will color your actions. Punctuality or even code reliability ultimately doesn't matter. What matters is if you can bring more money to the company, one way or another. If you are doing sales meetings, it may be punctuality. If you are doing tech work on the core infrastructure, it may be code reliability. Find your own niche, surrounded by people who like you and need the unique strengths you bring to the table.