I am 43 and share a lot of your struggles. I find that avoiding alcohol and drugs improves my outlook a lot, but it takes a while, same for getting physically

I am 43 and share a lot of your struggles. I find that avoiding alcohol and drugs improves my outlook a lot, but it takes a while, same for getting physically fit. Then the trick is finding some fulfilling thing to do, finish a triathlon, write a book, travel, join local government, teach, make a game or side project. Some creative goal to work towards. Good luck