It's not either/or of course, you can do both. But I'll add that even at 35 you probably don't have a full understanding of your parents, even if you think you

It's not either/or of course, you can do both. But I'll add that even at 35 you probably don't have a full understanding of your parents, even if you think you do. These are real people with ~35 more years of life experience than OP. Don't underestimate them.