7 ms·

While I am glad that you are enjoying kids, I do not think it is fair the way you paint the picture of people who choose to not have kids ("feeling sorry for th

While I am glad that you are enjoying kids, I do not think it is fair the way you paint the picture of people who choose to not have kids ("feeling sorry for them") as if it was a condition or something. Plus I think having children is not something that should be rushed. Pretty sure there are many parents out there who became a parent because of social pressure. What if I tell you I find fullfilment in travelling? Should I feel sorry for people who do not want to travel (or can't because they have kids ;) )? I agree with 3) though that a job should be just a means to the end.

H8crilA 5y ago
Take that comment with an assumption of good intentions, and you can get to a specific situation like: "oh man, that particular guy really has nothing going for him, if he had kids it would look a whole lot different". BTW, I feel like "that guy" sometimes, and it's probably quite common.
tharne 5y ago
> I do not think it is fair the way you paint the picture of people who choose to not have kids ("feeling sorry for them") as if it was a condition or something. It's not painting childless folks as having a condition, it's more kindhearted than that. It's saying, "Here's this thing that's incredibly difficult but infinitely rewarding. I care about you so I want you to experience it too".
jacquesm 5y ago
I also wonder what a child would think that read that.
- k8sToGo 5y ago
  Which part?
  - CRConrad 5y ago
    Maybe didn't mean you, but the GP's "I have a hard time to see any relevance in a life without children anymore. This might be complete bs but certainly floats my boat." That sounds like it could make a kid think "So they didn't have me for my sake, just so they could find 'relevance' in their life".
    - gls2ro 5y ago
      I don't think there is ever someone who decided to make kids only for their own kid's sake because you don't know your child before they are brought to the world. Or least this is very hard to grasp. Of course, adopting is a different wonderful way to have children where you can meet the child. But also in this situation: are you choosing one for their own sake or for you own sake? PS: I have a kid and think a lot about the responsibility of parents to their children due to the fact that the parents decided to bring the children into the world.
datavirtue 5y ago
If you don't have kids you are missing a fundamental understanding of what is driving most people each and every day. You are clueless about most of the world because most people have kids and it profoundly affects them. You can't know this unless you experience it yourself. It's also difficult to understand what you are getting into by having kids. It brings on a profound level of anxiety about their feelings and ultimate happiness. Your world is not yours anymore. You don't control them and you can rarely fix them. Anything that makes them sad is like a stab to your heart that requires immediate action. Imagine having a kid that does not have any ambitions and struggles to find any happiness and has problems with drug addiction. Get ready to have your soul ripped out. Not having kids prevents this very possible outcome and allows you to focus on pampering yourself with your millions your whole life...with the side effect of perhaps coming to the conclusion that your own life is meaningless somewhere down the road. If you reach a certain age and are still childless just know that nearly everyone will feel sorry for you. The world does not revolve around single people...at all.
- Beltalowda 5y ago
  I don't have children but I have a pretty good idea what it's like. I think many childless people (over a certain age) do. Turns out people are really good at this empathy thing; it's something that's strongly hard-wired in our brains. > Not having kids [..] allows you to focus on pampering yourself with your millions your whole life...with the side effect of perhaps coming to the conclusion that your own life is meaningless somewhere down the road. That seems an unfair characterisation; I don't have children for the simple reason that there are enough humans on the planet; it's not like there's a shortage. Many childless people I know feel like this. I'd actually love to have a family; I just chose not to (thus far anyway) because I think it's better for "the greater good", which sounds a bit lame but that's what it is. You can agree or disagree with that take, but it's not pure selfish hedonism like you're describing; quite the opposite in fact.
- jacquesm 5y ago
  Not everybody is created equal. I love my kids, don't get me wrong. But I also know people that live for their art, their skill, their ability to help others and so on. > If you reach a certain age and are still childless just know that nearly everyone will feel sorry for you. Nearly everyone is a pretty large assumption, I think you speak mostly for yourself, not for 'nearly everyone'.

H8crilA 5y ago

Take that comment with an assumption of good intentions, and you can get to a specific situation like: "oh man, that particular guy really has nothing going for him, if he had kids it would look a whole lot different". BTW, I feel like "that guy" sometimes, and it's probably quite common.

tharne 5y ago

> I do not think it is fair the way you paint the picture of people who choose to not have kids ("feeling sorry for them") as if it was a condition or something. It's not painting childless folks as having a condition, it's more kindhearted than that. It's saying, "Here's this thing that's incredibly difficult but infinitely rewarding. I care about you so I want you to experience it too".

jacquesm 5y ago

I also wonder what a child would think that read that.

k8sToGo 5y ago
Which part?
- CRConrad 5y ago
  Maybe didn't mean you, but the GP's "I have a hard time to see any relevance in a life without children anymore. This might be complete bs but certainly floats my boat." That sounds like it could make a kid think "So they didn't have me for my sake, just so they could find 'relevance' in their life".
  - gls2ro 5y ago
    I don't think there is ever someone who decided to make kids only for their own kid's sake because you don't know your child before they are brought to the world. Or least this is very hard to grasp. Of course, adopting is a different wonderful way to have children where you can meet the child. But also in this situation: are you choosing one for their own sake or for you own sake? PS: I have a kid and think a lot about the responsibility of parents to their children due to the fact that the parents decided to bring the children into the world.

datavirtue 5y ago

If you don't have kids you are missing a fundamental understanding of what is driving most people each and every day. You are clueless about most of the world because most people have kids and it profoundly affects them. You can't know this unless you experience it yourself. It's also difficult to understand what you are getting into by having kids. It brings on a profound level of anxiety about their feelings and ultimate happiness. Your world is not yours anymore. You don't control them and you can rarely fix them. Anything that makes them sad is like a stab to your heart that requires immediate action. Imagine having a kid that does not have any ambitions and struggles to find any happiness and has problems with drug addiction. Get ready to have your soul ripped out. Not having kids prevents this very possible outcome and allows you to focus on pampering yourself with your millions your whole life...with the side effect of perhaps coming to the conclusion that your own life is meaningless somewhere down the road. If you reach a certain age and are still childless just know that nearly everyone will feel sorry for you. The world does not revolve around single people...at all.

Beltalowda 5y ago
I don't have children but I have a pretty good idea what it's like. I think many childless people (over a certain age) do. Turns out people are really good at this empathy thing; it's something that's strongly hard-wired in our brains. > Not having kids [..] allows you to focus on pampering yourself with your millions your whole life...with the side effect of perhaps coming to the conclusion that your own life is meaningless somewhere down the road. That seems an unfair characterisation; I don't have children for the simple reason that there are enough humans on the planet; it's not like there's a shortage. Many childless people I know feel like this. I'd actually love to have a family; I just chose not to (thus far anyway) because I think it's better for "the greater good", which sounds a bit lame but that's what it is. You can agree or disagree with that take, but it's not pure selfish hedonism like you're describing; quite the opposite in fact.
jacquesm 5y ago
Not everybody is created equal. I love my kids, don't get me wrong. But I also know people that live for their art, their skill, their ability to help others and so on. > If you reach a certain age and are still childless just know that nearly everyone will feel sorry for you. Nearly everyone is a pretty large assumption, I think you speak mostly for yourself, not for 'nearly everyone'.