Eventually managed to exfiltrate it. I didn't have another bank account outside of Square, so I had to go and open one and was eventually able to get the money

Eventually managed to exfiltrate it. I didn't have another bank account outside of Square, so I had to go and open one and was eventually able to get the money out. Funny though - I tried to transfer the funds to my other Square account and it said "We cannot transfer funds to Square because of their excessive fees." WTF.