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I recently quit alcohol for a few months to support someone else doing the same. I don't find I ever have to "give in". I do sometimes bring canned tea with me

I recently quit alcohol for a few months to support someone else doing the same. I don't find I ever have to "give in". I do sometimes bring canned tea with me if I am going to a friends party. Rice, local vegetables, eggs and basic cuts of meat are all real cheap. I quit working around 5pm most days (save meetings that get scheduled late, I tend to skip those randomly). I spend my free time working on fun hobbies or reading, a bit of netflix. Porn is not de facto evil. It is a supernormal stimulus - it will drown out your sex live because porn literally pushes your biological buttons better. If you can moderate it, then great. If it's an issue, cut it out. Avoid dating apps. Spend your time doing interesting things with interesting people instead.

xupybd 5y ago
I would argue that a supernormal stimulus should be avoided at all costs. It messes with your reward system too much. Get your endorphins from healthy and productive activities and your life improve immensely. Video games are another for me. They give a huge sense of achievement that real world tasks struggle to complete with.
- arepublicadoceu 5y ago
  > I would argue that a supernormal stimulus should be avoided at all costs. I don’t like these kinds of blanket statements I had friends that played WoW and were able to have a perfectly functioning life. They got great grades and had somewhat healthy social life. Unfortunately I’m not in this camp, if I play online games it will consume my life as nothing else. A better statement is: know yourself. If you have an addictive personality, stay away from supernormal stimulus. Now, If you’re blessed with genes that can regulate yourself, by all means, go ahead, play games and do whatever you like, you won the life lottery anyway.
  - vorpalhex 5y ago
    I wonder if supernormal stimuli are the same for all people. We tend to see differentiation in ideal mate selection, so it's possible we have different biological weak spots to hijack. Put another way, for some people maybe videogames are just not a supernormal stimulus. I like games but I actually struggle to rack up play time, even when I intentionally clear time to play. I just never find that reward curve, and not for lack of trying. I do wonder if some situations - games, social media, porn - are adversarial. Meaning we can view this as one party attempting to find supernormal stimulus and trick you into it, while you attempt to avoid the biological hijacking. If this is an adversarial situation than avoidance is counter-productive (you won't always win the avoidance game) and instead you need desensitization and safe guards.

xupybd 5y ago

I would argue that a supernormal stimulus should be avoided at all costs. It messes with your reward system too much. Get your endorphins from healthy and productive activities and your life improve immensely. Video games are another for me. They give a huge sense of achievement that real world tasks struggle to complete with.

arepublicadoceu 5y ago
> I would argue that a supernormal stimulus should be avoided at all costs. I don’t like these kinds of blanket statements I had friends that played WoW and were able to have a perfectly functioning life. They got great grades and had somewhat healthy social life. Unfortunately I’m not in this camp, if I play online games it will consume my life as nothing else. A better statement is: know yourself. If you have an addictive personality, stay away from supernormal stimulus. Now, If you’re blessed with genes that can regulate yourself, by all means, go ahead, play games and do whatever you like, you won the life lottery anyway.
- vorpalhex 5y ago
  I wonder if supernormal stimuli are the same for all people. We tend to see differentiation in ideal mate selection, so it's possible we have different biological weak spots to hijack. Put another way, for some people maybe videogames are just not a supernormal stimulus. I like games but I actually struggle to rack up play time, even when I intentionally clear time to play. I just never find that reward curve, and not for lack of trying. I do wonder if some situations - games, social media, porn - are adversarial. Meaning we can view this as one party attempting to find supernormal stimulus and trick you into it, while you attempt to avoid the biological hijacking. If this is an adversarial situation than avoidance is counter-productive (you won't always win the avoidance game) and instead you need desensitization and safe guards.