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I like your analysis, and it sounds reasonable and true to me. But in it, there are the seeds of an approach to better Turkey Day dinners. Their reluctance to
by sleightofmind 5y ago
I like your analysis, and it sounds reasonable and true to me. But in it, there are the seeds of an approach to better Turkey Day dinners.
Their reluctance to criticize sounds like a recipe for getting along at large seasonal family gatherings, Thanksgiving, etc. So many dinners are wrecked these days because, "Hey, I just gotta correct Uncle Billy's naive political beliefs." Maybe it's better to let Uncle Billy remember that he loves his seldom seen nephew than to engage him in what may morph into an irritating, demeaning argument in front of the whole clan. People are more influenced by those they love or like, than by those who mercilessly point out the weaknesses of their belief in front of others.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- bsder 5y agoAnd how many people let grandma or grandpa say the absolute nastiest things in the name of "harmony". I can assure you, the person being attacked doesn't think its very harmonious. And having even one person stand up and say "That's unacceptable" can help the mental state of that victim tremendously. I will let most things pass until some gets targeted. Then I'm not so quiet anymore. In addition, silence gives consent. If nobody challenges a belief, then it "becomes apparent" that everybody agrees. That may not be true, but unless a single person steps up, everybody else may stay quiet. You only need a few vocal, motivated people willing to cow everybody into submission if nobody ever voices opposition.
- sleightofmind 5y agoYep. Agreed. There comes a point at which silence is no longer an option. Navigating family gatherings has probably always been treacherous. Hard to know when to remain silent, and commiserate later with the obvious target of undeserved criticism, and when it's egregious enough to say, "No more!"