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While there may not be a causal relationship between a dev career and social isolation, I feel they are orthogonal. Unlike a product manager or a sales person,

While there may not be a causal relationship between a dev career and social isolation, I feel they are orthogonal. Unlike a product manager or a sales person, there is not as much incentive to build a social circle, and to acquire the skills that let you build a social circle wherever you go. So your circle-building skills slowly atrophy, unless you are a social animal and put in extra-effort in your own time. As many people have pointed out, building a social circle takes a lot of time, effort, and most importantly skill. Building one in college is easy because when you have bunch of young people (united by alcohol) in the same place with roughly the same mission, circles form automatically. Out in the real world, now with the added drama of the pandemic and all the social fallout, the bar is much higher. At least OP had a good group in college and had some fun times. I shudder to think of the current and next few graduating classes who have to endure "online learning" and a very reduced social circle. I have no clue what that is going to lead to.

anon2020dot00 5y ago
Great comment, this actually made me realize that I have a fixed mindset when it comes to socializing. Instead of a growth mindset, that socializing is a skill that needs to be practiced and can be improved. My problem though is that I rarely know how to make casual conversation correctly. I usually think of asking questions but this usually comes-off as being too much like an interrogation. Anybody have tips on making casual conversation unawkward?
- rakejake 5y ago
  Something like sports is tailor-made for casual conversation. Sports/movies/TV-shows are really valuable in providing mostly non-controversial gossip.
- RMPR 5y ago
  > Anybody have tips on making casual conversation unawkward? Asking questions by itself is not the problem, it's the way of asking. I usually start by asking where the person is from and their hobbies. From there I try to relate it to something I know, I have read, or even a personal anecdot. When you start sharing, if the person is interest, they should start sharing as well, you're talking about something they kind of have some interest in.

anon2020dot00 5y ago

Great comment, this actually made me realize that I have a fixed mindset when it comes to socializing. Instead of a growth mindset, that socializing is a skill that needs to be practiced and can be improved. My problem though is that I rarely know how to make casual conversation correctly. I usually think of asking questions but this usually comes-off as being too much like an interrogation. Anybody have tips on making casual conversation unawkward?

rakejake 5y ago
Something like sports is tailor-made for casual conversation. Sports/movies/TV-shows are really valuable in providing mostly non-controversial gossip.
RMPR 5y ago
> Anybody have tips on making casual conversation unawkward? Asking questions by itself is not the problem, it's the way of asking. I usually start by asking where the person is from and their hobbies. From there I try to relate it to something I know, I have read, or even a personal anecdot. When you start sharing, if the person is interest, they should start sharing as well, you're talking about something they kind of have some interest in.