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I wonder how this works, when the abuse is portrayed as normalised discipline? Kids dont know what is right or wrong, so if you get punishment, physical and men

I wonder how this works, when the abuse is portrayed as normalised discipline? Kids dont know what is right or wrong, so if you get punishment, physical and mental and accept it for the result of your actions, how does that work when the kid is an adult and doesnt agree with the way they were brought up, when they look back at their childhood? I'd say Laws can also cause alot of cognitive dissonance depending on how you were brought up. Another factor not considered is the diet and lifestyle today is different to what it was just 20/30years ago or longer. Those hormonal differences in people will also affect their behaviour and attitudes.

haswell 5y ago
As someone who went through exactly this, it fucks you up pretty thoroughly. Mid 30s and have been seeing a trauma therapist for almost four years now, and don’t suspect I’ll stop anytime soon. There is a path to healing, but it’s a long and difficult one. And as another sibling comment pointed out, C-PTSD is the generalized result. Not recommended.
nyanpasu64 5y ago
You get people who end up on https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/ decades later.
- Terry_Roll 5y ago
  Yeah so called experts should come with warnings, they could be about to open Pandora's box and there isnt any going back once that happens!
giantg2 5y ago
"I'd say Laws can also cause alot of cognitive dissonance depending on how you were brought up." Or after realizing that they are only enforced against some people.
- Terry_Roll 5y ago
  This totally, many Govt employees feel they are above the law. I've seen nurses, teachers, soldiers and police all dish out their own form of justice. I think its a Govt employee mindset, that they are untouchable because they "protect & serve" the country and the population and therefore can do what they like.
softwaredoug 5y ago
trauma can come from societal causes, such as laws. See "Is COVID-19 an adverse childhood experience (ACE): Implications for screening for primary care" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7306718/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7306718/
SamoyedFurFluff 5y ago
Abuse as a child generally annihilates your understanding of safety, safe places, and safe people before you ever understand that abuse was bad. In fact, growing up not understanding that people in positions of authority (institutional or interpersonal) don’t get to just violate you is often one of the problems with people who were abused as children.
- Terry_Roll 5y ago
  I think some cultures are just totally out of whack though, the British Victorian attitude of children should be seen and not heard is just a cover for abuse, and there are people today still using this, I see it frequently on social media, mothers do it alot, its like they want kids but not the hassle. However noone really sits all women down and explain this is how your life will change, you dont see this at school, you dont see this anywhere, and the same goes for blokes. Noone ever sits you down so to speak and say hey, this is the consequences of your actions if you take this path. As a human race we just keep screwing up making the same mistakes time and time again, which works for corrupt institutions, because we end up having to validate their existence in one form or another.
kayodelycaon 5y ago
I grew up believing my own abuse was normal and that it was my fault I wasn’t good enough. By the standards of my community, it wasn’t abusive at all. (Spare the rod, spoil the child.) It fucked me up for a very long time. It wasn’t until I was 34 and 18 months into treatment for bipolar disorder that I discovered where so much of my self-hatred came from. No one around me knew how damaged I was because I had to hide it to survive.
- mlindner 5y ago
  Some people classify "spanking" as abuse however which we need to be clear about.
  - kayodelycaon 5y ago
    I apologize for being misleading. It was a significant amount of emotional abuse, not so much physical. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_abuse https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_abuse
mlindner 5y ago
I agree. The important thing for me was my parents expressing their sadness about what they were about to do. They didn't like to do it but viewed it as right thing to do. They never did it out of anger. It's not "abuse" then because the child understands why what is happening to them is happening.
autoexec 5y ago
> I wonder how this works, when the abuse is portrayed as normalised discipline? I don't think it'd make much difference. Abusers fill the lives of their victims with fear and pain and those can cause profound physical changes to a person's body and how it functions. The constant stress of living like that for long periods of time has surprisingly far reaching effects. If you're curious, I recommend reading "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk

haswell 5y ago

As someone who went through exactly this, it fucks you up pretty thoroughly. Mid 30s and have been seeing a trauma therapist for almost four years now, and don’t suspect I’ll stop anytime soon. There is a path to healing, but it’s a long and difficult one. And as another sibling comment pointed out, C-PTSD is the generalized result. Not recommended.

nyanpasu64 5y ago

You get people who end up on https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/ https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/ decades later.

Terry_Roll 5y ago
Yeah so called experts should come with warnings, they could be about to open Pandora's box and there isnt any going back once that happens!

giantg2 5y ago

"I'd say Laws can also cause alot of cognitive dissonance depending on how you were brought up." Or after realizing that they are only enforced against some people.

Terry_Roll 5y ago
This totally, many Govt employees feel they are above the law. I've seen nurses, teachers, soldiers and police all dish out their own form of justice. I think its a Govt employee mindset, that they are untouchable because they "protect & serve" the country and the population and therefore can do what they like.

softwaredoug 5y ago

trauma can come from societal causes, such as laws. See "Is COVID-19 an adverse childhood experience (ACE): Implications for screening for primary care" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7306718/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7306718/

SamoyedFurFluff 5y ago

Abuse as a child generally annihilates your understanding of safety, safe places, and safe people before you ever understand that abuse was bad. In fact, growing up not understanding that people in positions of authority (institutional or interpersonal) don’t get to just violate you is often one of the problems with people who were abused as children.

Terry_Roll 5y ago
I think some cultures are just totally out of whack though, the British Victorian attitude of children should be seen and not heard is just a cover for abuse, and there are people today still using this, I see it frequently on social media, mothers do it alot, its like they want kids but not the hassle. However noone really sits all women down and explain this is how your life will change, you dont see this at school, you dont see this anywhere, and the same goes for blokes. Noone ever sits you down so to speak and say hey, this is the consequences of your actions if you take this path. As a human race we just keep screwing up making the same mistakes time and time again, which works for corrupt institutions, because we end up having to validate their existence in one form or another.

kayodelycaon 5y ago

I grew up believing my own abuse was normal and that it was my fault I wasn’t good enough. By the standards of my community, it wasn’t abusive at all. (Spare the rod, spoil the child.) It fucked me up for a very long time. It wasn’t until I was 34 and 18 months into treatment for bipolar disorder that I discovered where so much of my self-hatred came from. No one around me knew how damaged I was because I had to hide it to survive.

mlindner 5y ago
Some people classify "spanking" as abuse however which we need to be clear about.
- kayodelycaon 5y ago
  I apologize for being misleading. It was a significant amount of emotional abuse, not so much physical. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_abuse https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_abuse

mlindner 5y ago

I agree. The important thing for me was my parents expressing their sadness about what they were about to do. They didn't like to do it but viewed it as right thing to do. They never did it out of anger. It's not "abuse" then because the child understands why what is happening to them is happening.

autoexec 5y ago

> I wonder how this works, when the abuse is portrayed as normalised discipline? I don't think it'd make much difference. Abusers fill the lives of their victims with fear and pain and those can cause profound physical changes to a person's body and how it functions. The constant stress of living like that for long periods of time has surprisingly far reaching effects. If you're curious, I recommend reading "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk