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How do you cross the bridge between Knowing and Practicing?
How do you cross the bridge between Knowing and Practicing?
I know what I should do, but practicing is quite a different story.
I make plans and lists, but then I fail to take action.
When I find myself in a stressful situation, my anxiety takes over and I react angrily, instead of responding appropriately. In a nutshell, I have the “Nice Guy Syndrome” where I constantly fail to set and maintain proper healthy boundaries, and then with time I get tired of people overstepping their boundaries and I get self-righteous and I do act like an asshole.
And my subconscious justifies it by playing the victim’s card, because I failed to maintain healthy boundaries I am justified in being angry.
I know it stems from anxiety, but I do not want to use that as an excuse, I want to use this knowledge to improve and overcome my anxiety.
What I have done and tried so far:
- Therapy: I was in therapy for Severe Clinical Depression for over 2 years, after about 1 year I was diagnosed “Depression-Free”. Looking in retrospect I didn’t have Depression, it was just that my life sucked. And why did my life sucked? Because of all the reasons described above, at that time I was unaware and clueless of my MO.
- Meditation: I practiced Zen for about 5 years, for 5 years I meditated an average of 10 hours/week, plus other Zen practice.
- Blogging and other forms of writings.
- I have read so many books: Feeling Good (David Burns), most of the REBT books (Albert Ellis), and many more.
I have come a long way, but I also have a long way to go.
What I am looking for:
- Honest feedback
- Actionable feedback
- Practice(s) that I can start
Thanks in advance
- merciBien 5y agoExcellent perception that sometimes depression isn’t caused by some chemical imbalance or childhood trauma. Life is often just hard, and sometimes you’re going to act like an jerk to try to cope. I’m not perfect, I suspect you’re not either. Getting something accomplished is key for me, code-wise that might mean I write a script in 10 minutes to pull weather data from an api, or an image from NASA. Keeping the task small lets me get a positive shot before I can burn out. I have to break project sized work into smaller mini projects, or I get intimidated. I accept that I’m weak and easily distracted, I guess I’m treating myself like a child. Who cares as long as it works? I also let people take advantage of my agreeableness. Only solution I’ve found is to change jobs every couple years.
- SMAAART 5y agoHey, thanks for the comment. > Excellent perception that sometimes depression isn’t caused by some chemical imbalance or childhood trauma. Life is often just hard, and sometimes you’re going to act like an jerk to try to cope. I’m not perfect, I suspect you’re not either. At this point I actually don't care, I just want to train myself through practice to become more resilient, make better choices, have better reaction, and formulate better responses. I just re-read what I just wrote and WOW! That sounds good. I must add to that: Train myself to better navigate the gap between planning and executing. > I have to break project sized work into smaller mini projects, or I get intimidated. I accept that I’m weak and easily distracted, I guess I’m treating myself like a child. Who cares as long as it works? Good reflections. You might enjoy this book "Little Bets: How Breakthrough Ideas Emerge from Small Discoveries" by Peter Sims. > I also let people take advantage of my agreeableness. Only solution I’ve found is to change jobs every couple years. LOL, welcome to my resume. Merci (nice username)