5 ms·

Fun story but the fact that he totally lost touch with his childhood friend over something so silly makes me sad.

Broken_Hippo 5y ago
It makes me even more sad that we haven't remedied that sort of thing everywhere by giving children rights, including free association with others. In other words, parents cannot govern friends and romantic partners.
- amatecha 5y ago
  There's definitely a balance to be had... Kids don't generally have those rights because they have far too little life experience to judge the effects of associating with people. Adults have seen the life paths of those around them and observed where certain directions can lead. So, parents look out for their kids. Sometimes the parents just have poor judgement, heh
  - Broken_Hippo 5y ago
    Adults have seen the life paths of those around them and observed where certain directions can lead. So, parents look out for their kids. Sometimes the parents just have poor judgement, heh That last bit is the issue. DO you really think a racist parent is going to allow a child to date somone that looks different - or a devout catholic is realistically going to allow their child to enter a same-sex relationship?
    - wkearney99 5y ago
      Ignoring, of course, the number of kids that DO just that, quite possibly BECAUSE of the parental idiocy.
- rPlayer6554 5y ago
  So would you be alright with your son/daughter choosing their romantic partner as a 50 yr old pedophile, drug dealer, and/or avid supporter of whichever religion or cause you find the most perverse and destructive to humanity?
  - Broken_Hippo 5y ago
    Obviously, no one should be OK with their child dating someone that is a pedophile. That is obviously child abuse, and call the authorities. I*m not about to let a child be abused, and I find this particular question a strange place to go, since it does seem to be a slippery slope argument. The only real way a parent would know if someone is a drug dealer is if the parent does drugs, or if their friends have bought or sold to the child. Otherwise, I'm just being judgemental or listening to gossip. If i have suspicions that my child can get in trouble with them, the proper thing to do is to have a discussion with the child. After that, it is their decision. I don't realistically find any one religion to be that, in general, but again, if it concerns you, talk to your child about your concerns and hope that you aren't being xenophobic instead of reasonable. Same thing with racism: Chances are, you'll just drive a wedge between you and your child.
    - rPlayer6554 5y ago
      For the first part your statement was > parents cannot govern friends and romantic partners. With absolutely no qualifiers. Unfortunately there are pro-pedophilia people out there, and some are quite public about it (for instance, Richard Stallman at one point). So I think it's important if you take that stance you clarify. For the second part let's say that there is no question about it (maybe they were convicted). What if they are a violent person? Are you willing to let your child potentially harm themselves or others by being in the influence of violent people? Lastly you misunderstood what I was saying. From your comment I assume you are against xenophobia and racism (rightly so). What if your child wanted to spend time with another child who openly hated black people or Jewish people? What I'm saying is as a parent you do have a duty to take care of your child. You should prevent them from being hurt and hurting others. You need to instill in them moral values that make them a good person. If you do not have any power to say, prevent them from spending time with soemone who openly hurts them, then they aren't going to listen to you. They have to learn some things through experience, but other things would hurt them on such a great level that it could be permanently damaging. Yea they might not like it, but when you are a child you don't always have the mental capacity or experience to make all of these decisions logically. True love for someone is not always pretty, it sometimes involves telling them "no" to protect them.
- nostrademons 5y ago
  Runs into the same problem the majority of people have in capitalist democracies: rights are tied to economic ability. Kids are usually economically tied to their parents, so if a parent decides "Wups, gotta take a new job across the country" or even "I'm sorry, I don't have time to drive you there." (As a side note - dumb parents tell their kids "No, you can't be friends with ...." Smart parents ensure their kids will never meet ... before their kids are even born, through zoning laws and buying a home in a good neighborhood. I wonder if housing policy advocates realize how much of housing policy is driven by ensuring that your kids associate with "the right" sort of people.)
- bityard 5y ago
  Are you a parent?
  - Broken_Hippo 5y ago
    It doesn't matter whether or not I am. IF you agree, you do, and if not, you don't. I know some places have children's rights, which include freedom of association, especially as children get older. (Norway, for instance).
    - dotnet00 5y ago
      Not a parent then lol Also, freedom of association doesn't refer to who a child can befriend or date. It refers to their ability to participate in causes that affect them, such as volunteering with NGOs. What you're proposing is extreme by even Norway's standards.
- UncleSlacky 5y ago
  Reminder that the US is the only country not to have ratified the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._ratification_of_the_Convention_on_the_Rights_of_the_Child https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._ratification_of_the_Conve...

It makes me even more sad that we haven't remedied that sort of thing everywhere by giving children rights, including free association with others. In other words, parents cannot govern friends and romantic partners.

amatecha 5y ago
There's definitely a balance to be had... Kids don't generally have those rights because they have far too little life experience to judge the effects of associating with people. Adults have seen the life paths of those around them and observed where certain directions can lead. So, parents look out for their kids. Sometimes the parents just have poor judgement, heh
- Broken_Hippo 5y ago
  Adults have seen the life paths of those around them and observed where certain directions can lead. So, parents look out for their kids. Sometimes the parents just have poor judgement, heh That last bit is the issue. DO you really think a racist parent is going to allow a child to date somone that looks different - or a devout catholic is realistically going to allow their child to enter a same-sex relationship?
  - wkearney99 5y ago
    Ignoring, of course, the number of kids that DO just that, quite possibly BECAUSE of the parental idiocy.
rPlayer6554 5y ago
So would you be alright with your son/daughter choosing their romantic partner as a 50 yr old pedophile, drug dealer, and/or avid supporter of whichever religion or cause you find the most perverse and destructive to humanity?
- Broken_Hippo 5y ago
  Obviously, no one should be OK with their child dating someone that is a pedophile. That is obviously child abuse, and call the authorities. I*m not about to let a child be abused, and I find this particular question a strange place to go, since it does seem to be a slippery slope argument. The only real way a parent would know if someone is a drug dealer is if the parent does drugs, or if their friends have bought or sold to the child. Otherwise, I'm just being judgemental or listening to gossip. If i have suspicions that my child can get in trouble with them, the proper thing to do is to have a discussion with the child. After that, it is their decision. I don't realistically find any one religion to be that, in general, but again, if it concerns you, talk to your child about your concerns and hope that you aren't being xenophobic instead of reasonable. Same thing with racism: Chances are, you'll just drive a wedge between you and your child.
  - rPlayer6554 5y ago
    For the first part your statement was > parents cannot govern friends and romantic partners. With absolutely no qualifiers. Unfortunately there are pro-pedophilia people out there, and some are quite public about it (for instance, Richard Stallman at one point). So I think it's important if you take that stance you clarify. For the second part let's say that there is no question about it (maybe they were convicted). What if they are a violent person? Are you willing to let your child potentially harm themselves or others by being in the influence of violent people? Lastly you misunderstood what I was saying. From your comment I assume you are against xenophobia and racism (rightly so). What if your child wanted to spend time with another child who openly hated black people or Jewish people? What I'm saying is as a parent you do have a duty to take care of your child. You should prevent them from being hurt and hurting others. You need to instill in them moral values that make them a good person. If you do not have any power to say, prevent them from spending time with soemone who openly hurts them, then they aren't going to listen to you. They have to learn some things through experience, but other things would hurt them on such a great level that it could be permanently damaging. Yea they might not like it, but when you are a child you don't always have the mental capacity or experience to make all of these decisions logically. True love for someone is not always pretty, it sometimes involves telling them "no" to protect them.
nostrademons 5y ago
Runs into the same problem the majority of people have in capitalist democracies: rights are tied to economic ability. Kids are usually economically tied to their parents, so if a parent decides "Wups, gotta take a new job across the country" or even "I'm sorry, I don't have time to drive you there." (As a side note - dumb parents tell their kids "No, you can't be friends with ...." Smart parents ensure their kids will never meet ... before their kids are even born, through zoning laws and buying a home in a good neighborhood. I wonder if housing policy advocates realize how much of housing policy is driven by ensuring that your kids associate with "the right" sort of people.)
bityard 5y ago
Are you a parent?
- Broken_Hippo 5y ago
  It doesn't matter whether or not I am. IF you agree, you do, and if not, you don't. I know some places have children's rights, which include freedom of association, especially as children get older. (Norway, for instance).
  - dotnet00 5y ago
    Not a parent then lol Also, freedom of association doesn't refer to who a child can befriend or date. It refers to their ability to participate in causes that affect them, such as volunteering with NGOs. What you're proposing is extreme by even Norway's standards.
UncleSlacky 5y ago
Reminder that the US is the only country not to have ratified the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._ratification_of_the_Convention_on_the_Rights_of_the_Child https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._ratification_of_the_Conve...