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This is too small a study to do this, but I’d be curious if the observations would hold up across various gender identities and the sexuality spectrum. What wo

This is too small a study to do this, but I’d be curious if the observations would hold up across various gender identities and the sexuality spectrum. What would gay men prefer? What about lesbians? What about non-binary folks?

throwaheyy 5y ago
As a gay man, for same-sex friendships I find that I have gravitated towards men that have some of both categories, with some differences accounting for life circumstances or other uncontrollable factors, tact and human decency. Maybe not “physically formidable”, but being fit/looking after yourself. Maybe not “high wealth”, but financially responsible and not ostentatious. “High status” is a self mindset. I’m not sure what this paper’s definition of it is. “Access to potential mates” sounds overly reductive but having some friends makes one a more attractive and interesting person in general. “Emotional support” in willingness to listen, empathize, and not be a narcissist. “Intimacy” in trustworthiness and dependability. “Useful social information” but don’t be a gossip.
- jdr23bc 5y ago
  > “Access to potential mates” sounds overly reductive but having some friends makes one a more attractive and interesting person in general. this makes me think of that fact "the average person's (sex) partner has had more partners" Maybe it holds true for friends. the average person's friend has more friends. Although friendships are different than a count of sex. partners. you can only have so many on going friendships. If it's true then the ratio is probably lower.
telman17 5y ago
Lesbian here. My closest friends have been straight men for years. I'm also a software developer so that's who I'm mostly surrounded by. The women I am friends with are usually 1) straight and 2) do not typically share my hobbies and so our conversations tend to be more shallow. However when I was in high school my closest friends were female. I have no idea if my experience is common or not. Also not to nitpick but non-binary has absolutely nothing to do with being gay or lesbian. It's not the "third" option. You can be gay and non-binary.

throwaheyy 5y ago

As a gay man, for same-sex friendships I find that I have gravitated towards men that have some of both categories, with some differences accounting for life circumstances or other uncontrollable factors, tact and human decency. Maybe not “physically formidable”, but being fit/looking after yourself. Maybe not “high wealth”, but financially responsible and not ostentatious. “High status” is a self mindset. I’m not sure what this paper’s definition of it is. “Access to potential mates” sounds overly reductive but having some friends makes one a more attractive and interesting person in general. “Emotional support” in willingness to listen, empathize, and not be a narcissist. “Intimacy” in trustworthiness and dependability. “Useful social information” but don’t be a gossip.

jdr23bc 5y ago
> “Access to potential mates” sounds overly reductive but having some friends makes one a more attractive and interesting person in general. this makes me think of that fact "the average person's (sex) partner has had more partners" Maybe it holds true for friends. the average person's friend has more friends. Although friendships are different than a count of sex. partners. you can only have so many on going friendships. If it's true then the ratio is probably lower.

telman17 5y ago

Lesbian here. My closest friends have been straight men for years. I'm also a software developer so that's who I'm mostly surrounded by. The women I am friends with are usually 1) straight and 2) do not typically share my hobbies and so our conversations tend to be more shallow. However when I was in high school my closest friends were female. I have no idea if my experience is common or not. Also not to nitpick but non-binary has absolutely nothing to do with being gay or lesbian. It's not the "third" option. You can be gay and non-binary.