> I guess is partly because of being alone and lonely. Hard to make friends after college. Seems impossible to make good ones. This is something you're going t

> I guess is partly because of being alone and lonely. Hard to make friends after college. Seems impossible to make good ones. This is something you're going to want to solve eventually. You recognise these are what you long for when you engage in behaviour that distracts yourself. I would strongly recommend doubling down and solving your loneliness and belonging problem (and i realise its not easy. I struggle with it too. But you have to start somewhere and it gets better. Use the internet, use your head, solve it little at a time) Take care of your needs and the tendency to escape reality will slowly subside and this will likely be the most sustainable solution. Of course you're also going to want to incorporate the countless suggestions here which give you a more hands on approach to tweaking your OS and your environment to maximise focus.