I think everything is tradeoffs, but there will probably come a time when divorcing a higher-earning spouse is on balance a very good move for you. Perhaps some

I think everything is tradeoffs, but there will probably come a time when divorcing a higher-earning spouse is on balance a very good move for you. Perhaps some combination of your magnanimity or your spouse's devotion means you won't actually capitalize on this. But you could, and you both know it, and that power dynamic is extreme. Extreme enough to drown out any feelings of contentment or satisfaction, even if they manage to keep you happy. And obviously you have no obligations to their feelings, with this kind of leverage. Perhaps this is immature. I'm not totally averse to responsibility. I have a career and a mortgage, and getting fired or going into default would be very bad. But it would be bad in a way that I'd recover from. An acrimonious divorce with an alimony award would really seem to make the rest of my life not worth living. Even a 5% chance of that is crazy.