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What he said is true: the vow has some strong words in it that a lot of people are not taking so seriously. Yes, just as many or more people who identify with
by stephenhuey 5y ago
What he said is true: the vow has some strong words in it that a lot of people are not taking so seriously. Yes, just as many or more people who identify with a religion get divorced, but just because they identify that way on a form does not mean they are giving as much weight to the vow that some of us do. For us, our pastors counsel us at length to think through the commitment in advance—possible differences/preferences in many scenarios, including finances. We are taught to think of marriage as hard, and to take important steps to guard it along the way. Passively identifying with a faith is not the same as actively trying to let it guide your everyday life.
- tenebrisalietum 5y agoTo me, it's like student loans - giving those "permanent vows" when you are 18 is like making an 18 year old sign up for $50,000 of debt to start a career with no future guarantee.
- lazide 5y agoWhat happens when your life partner is screaming at you and stabbing the counter with a butcher knife because you dared to ask how she was doing? Because that’s one of many instances that led to me getting a divorce. I took the vow quite seriously, but treating it like a suicide pact is not a good move either.
- stephenhuey 5y agoExtremely tragic. I do not want to diminish your situation at all. The difference is that so many of the dozens and dozens of divorces I’m personally connected to had no tragedy such as yours and the people involved were not going into marriage prepared for the road ahead (something they could have enjoyed if they’d been in a more supportive community that taught them more). So many I know end the marriage for far less difficult situations than yours.