7 ms·

That sounds like the literal definition of indentured servitude.

01100011 5y ago
The last lawyer I consulted with basically said they can't force my wife to work because that's slavery. I then asked why they can force me to work and he just went silent. Everyone in that industry knows it's bullshit but they're rich, connected, and unwilling to let it change.
closeparen 5y ago
I simply cannot imagine giving another person this kind of power. If you’re going to risk such a catastrophic failure of the rest of your life for a neuro-chemical experience, heroin seems safer than romance.
- enraged_camel 5y ago
  Married people live 7 years longer on average, whereas the same cannot be the same for heroin users. So the two are probably not interchangeable!
  - ativzzz 5y ago
    So sounds like the futuristic studies on human longevity could be directed to research on keeping people married longer.
  - dTal 5y ago
    Married people. People who stay married. What happens when you include the third of marriages that end in divorce?
  - kentrado 5y ago
    That doesn't sound appealing. Taking a huge risk for something that can potentially ruin my finances for an extended period of time in exchange for maybe 7 more years of living. No thanks. That is not a good deal.
  - llampx 5y ago
    Correlation vs causation. Also, those statistics are from a different time. Let's compare divorced vs never-married to get a fairer picture.
  - dustymcp 5y ago
    Its probably not the heroin but the lifestyle attached to an expensive illegal drug
- dqpb 5y ago
  > heroin seems safer than romance You can’t propagate the human species with heroin
  - GordonS 5y ago
    Very true, but you also don't need romance to propogate the human species either - a good old fashioned fuck will do the trick, romance optional!
- saiya-jin 5y ago
  Slightly immature comment, but I'll bite. Chances of affair with heroin ending up being a nice story is absolutely 0. Chances of marriage being the one of the best decision in your life and ongoing source of content and happiness is pretty high, much higher than some comments here suggest. It can be something basic for few close friends and family, not those rather pathetic overblown mega weddings. And yes it changes things - I didn't believe so myself, but it did, for the better. And that's without kids. Anytime I see non-married couple with their kids, its mostly the guy. Women often say they are OK with that but then tell their close friends how they wish they could be married. All I see is insecure person - and literally everybody I've ever met in that situation is insecure, you just have to look close enough. But it became a bit of an art to marry well and of course its never 100%, but then what in life is. It can't be done for physical attraction alone. I would say that the SO needs to be a damn nice person to live with (for you at least) if you remove any physical attractiveness. There are tons of people who have naturally and genuinely good heart. Marry those, and only those. The chances for good marriage compared to average just jumped through the roof. The second part is at least equally hard - be a good partner and father, consistently even if not truly permanently. Family takes priority about any pathetic career you consider so important and awesome. Any party, trips, plans, and so on. Don't lose yourself in marriage/parenthood and keep something that makes you feel alive, but be ready to postpone/downtune it. Chances now are even higher. The last part is to be sure both sides are actually, truly, long term compatible. This takes time to find out. Similar personalities are much easier to work with compared to opposites. It can be speeded up by spending a lot of time together, tough and challenging time. Long active travels are great, if not possible a lot of small intense travel helps. Don't extinguish arguments (but don't provoke them), and watch how other side reacts. How both your reaction combine. How you both handle de-escalation. Ideal is to find passions that you truly share, the more the better. I for example wouldn't be able to live long term with a lady which doesn't share with me some mountain/adrenaline sports. Mine shares all of them but it took quite some time to find her. Most couples these days, married or not, fail at least some time in at least 1 of those aspects. Over time, its source of wedge that cracks relationships that seem perfect in the beginning. But they are perfect only through the lens of emotions, which change over time. Cold, hard facts about persons changes much less often if ever.
  - 5y ago
MeinBlutIstBlau 5y ago
Canada has one of the highest suicide rates among divorced men because of their even more draconian alimony/child support payments. Long story short, don't get married in Canada. Dave Foley on the Joe Rogan Podcasts (in like the 0-200's episodes) went through his divorce and explained how absurd it was.
satyrnein 5y ago
Or it sounds like working hard to earn money to give your children a better life. Which is pretty common!
- halpert 5y ago
  Alimony is not child support. Alimony is paid to the ex-spouse to maintain their lifestyle. You would need to pay child support in addition to the alimony.
  - satyrnein 5y ago
    Oops, you are correct, I misread.

The last lawyer I consulted with basically said they can't force my wife to work because that's slavery. I then asked why they can force me to work and he just went silent. Everyone in that industry knows it's bullshit but they're rich, connected, and unwilling to let it change.

closeparen 5y ago

I simply cannot imagine giving another person this kind of power. If you’re going to risk such a catastrophic failure of the rest of your life for a neuro-chemical experience, heroin seems safer than romance.

enraged_camel 5y ago
Married people live 7 years longer on average, whereas the same cannot be the same for heroin users. So the two are probably not interchangeable!
- ativzzz 5y ago
  So sounds like the futuristic studies on human longevity could be directed to research on keeping people married longer.
- dTal 5y ago
  Married people. People who stay married. What happens when you include the third of marriages that end in divorce?
- kentrado 5y ago
  That doesn't sound appealing. Taking a huge risk for something that can potentially ruin my finances for an extended period of time in exchange for maybe 7 more years of living. No thanks. That is not a good deal.
- llampx 5y ago
  Correlation vs causation. Also, those statistics are from a different time. Let's compare divorced vs never-married to get a fairer picture.
- dustymcp 5y ago
  Its probably not the heroin but the lifestyle attached to an expensive illegal drug
dqpb 5y ago
> heroin seems safer than romance You can’t propagate the human species with heroin
- GordonS 5y ago
  Very true, but you also don't need romance to propogate the human species either - a good old fashioned fuck will do the trick, romance optional!
saiya-jin 5y ago
Slightly immature comment, but I'll bite. Chances of affair with heroin ending up being a nice story is absolutely 0. Chances of marriage being the one of the best decision in your life and ongoing source of content and happiness is pretty high, much higher than some comments here suggest. It can be something basic for few close friends and family, not those rather pathetic overblown mega weddings. And yes it changes things - I didn't believe so myself, but it did, for the better. And that's without kids. Anytime I see non-married couple with their kids, its mostly the guy. Women often say they are OK with that but then tell their close friends how they wish they could be married. All I see is insecure person - and literally everybody I've ever met in that situation is insecure, you just have to look close enough. But it became a bit of an art to marry well and of course its never 100%, but then what in life is. It can't be done for physical attraction alone. I would say that the SO needs to be a damn nice person to live with (for you at least) if you remove any physical attractiveness. There are tons of people who have naturally and genuinely good heart. Marry those, and only those. The chances for good marriage compared to average just jumped through the roof. The second part is at least equally hard - be a good partner and father, consistently even if not truly permanently. Family takes priority about any pathetic career you consider so important and awesome. Any party, trips, plans, and so on. Don't lose yourself in marriage/parenthood and keep something that makes you feel alive, but be ready to postpone/downtune it. Chances now are even higher. The last part is to be sure both sides are actually, truly, long term compatible. This takes time to find out. Similar personalities are much easier to work with compared to opposites. It can be speeded up by spending a lot of time together, tough and challenging time. Long active travels are great, if not possible a lot of small intense travel helps. Don't extinguish arguments (but don't provoke them), and watch how other side reacts. How both your reaction combine. How you both handle de-escalation. Ideal is to find passions that you truly share, the more the better. I for example wouldn't be able to live long term with a lady which doesn't share with me some mountain/adrenaline sports. Mine shares all of them but it took quite some time to find her. Most couples these days, married or not, fail at least some time in at least 1 of those aspects. Over time, its source of wedge that cracks relationships that seem perfect in the beginning. But they are perfect only through the lens of emotions, which change over time. Cold, hard facts about persons changes much less often if ever.
- 5y ago

MeinBlutIstBlau 5y ago

Canada has one of the highest suicide rates among divorced men because of their even more draconian alimony/child support payments. Long story short, don't get married in Canada. Dave Foley on the Joe Rogan Podcasts (in like the 0-200's episodes) went through his divorce and explained how absurd it was.

satyrnein 5y ago

Or it sounds like working hard to earn money to give your children a better life. Which is pretty common!

halpert 5y ago
Alimony is not child support. Alimony is paid to the ex-spouse to maintain their lifestyle. You would need to pay child support in addition to the alimony.
- satyrnein 5y ago
  Oops, you are correct, I misread.