3 ms·

That’s what I do with my ex but I can’t escape the hurt, depression, and uncertainty during the weeks when they are with my ex. I think most parents fully expe

by dpcan 5y ago

That’s what I do with my ex but I can’t escape the hurt, depression, and uncertainty during the weeks when they are with my ex. I think most parents fully expect to be parents 100% of the time once they have kids. I don’t want, don’t need, don’t enjoy the “me/adult” time at all. I just want to make dinner for my kids, help with homework, watch a show together, take them to practice, play games, watch them grow, have conversations, hear their voices. I coach everything just so I can see them on my off weeks. I am president of the pta so I can see them more often too. It’s awful in every way for me. I can’t stand it when they are gone. EDIT: Add in my ex bringing boyfriends around which makes me physically ill. I don’t sleep or eat. I feel miserable. I just hope my kids are getting through this okay, but it’s so hard to tell. I don’t want to ask if they feel bad because then they might think they are supposed to be feeling bad. So I just do what I can to make them feel happy and loved.

randyrand 5y ago
please date again and find someone that cares about you and makes you happy agai
qzw 5y ago
If you're not already getting help from a qualified therapist, please do so ASAP! They can really help you get through this dark period. I have no doubt the love you feel for your kids is 100% genuine, but the dynamic you describe tells me that you're also using them as an emotional crutch after the divorce. In the long run this will not be good for either them or you. Another reply suggested that you date again, which would be a good step eventually. But it does not sound like you'd be able to get into a healthy relationship yet. You don't have to commit to a therapist right away. Just look up a few near you, set up an initial appointment with each and treat it like interviews where you're the hiring manager. Go talk to them, and then maybe go back to the one you're most comfortable with. Things will get better for you, but you need a hand to pull you out of the ditch right now. Do it for yourself and your kids. They need you to show them what resilience looks like.

by dpcan 5y ago

randyrand 5y ago

please date again and find someone that cares about you and makes you happy agai

qzw 5y ago

If you're not already getting help from a qualified therapist, please do so ASAP! They can really help you get through this dark period. I have no doubt the love you feel for your kids is 100% genuine, but the dynamic you describe tells me that you're also using them as an emotional crutch after the divorce. In the long run this will not be good for either them or you. Another reply suggested that you date again, which would be a good step eventually. But it does not sound like you'd be able to get into a healthy relationship yet. You don't have to commit to a therapist right away. Just look up a few near you, set up an initial appointment with each and treat it like interviews where you're the hiring manager. Go talk to them, and then maybe go back to the one you're most comfortable with. Things will get better for you, but you need a hand to pull you out of the ditch right now. Do it for yourself and your kids. They need you to show them what resilience looks like.