5 ms·

I wonder why people downvoted you. Maybe they don't agree and it is fine, but why try to silence?

JohnWhigham 5y ago
Bitter divorcees probably. Having a marriage like that is a luxury though. Let's be honest: marriage is not the same as it was 40-80 years ago, and that's because society is not the same it was. Long term commitment to your spouse seems to be an idea left to the past now.
- SketchySeaBeast 5y ago
  "Long term commitment" isn't a luxury though, it's dedicated effort on the part of both spouses.
  - sam0x17 5y ago
    OP's economic argument is pretty sound. 40-50 years ago you could buy a new house, get a solid blue collar job with a pension, and watch your house 5x in value over the next 50 years. Makes it very, very easy to settle down with someone and start a family. In today's economy, even for the relatively well-off, home ownership is essentially a pipe-dream and it is much harder to put down roots of any kind. The second the marriage becomes hard, it's a lot easier to break a lease than it is to break a mortgage.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
mpmpmpmp 5y ago
The word luxury in this context usually implies some kind of privilege. Which is a strange thing to say.
- frenchy 5y ago
  To be fair, it is a bit of a privilege. Like most things, it requires a lot of work too, but people learn humility and kindness from each other. Those who grow up with loving parents are a lot more likely to become loving parents.
coldpie 5y ago
I didn't downvote, but I always find "this day and age" kind of sentiments extremely eye-rolly, like things were better in some mythic past.
- keiferski 5y ago
  Unless you think that things are always getting better, it is necessarily implied that some things were better in the past.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  - coldpie 5y ago
    Compare these two sentences: > Having such a marriage in this day and age is truly a luxury, reserved only for the deepest of lovers. > Having such a marriage is truly a luxury, reserved only for the deepest of lovers. One contains a positive claim that something is worse now than it was before, which I think invites dispute and is entirely unnecessary anyway. It's a fine sentiment without the judgement.
  - lthornberry 5y ago
    This particular claim is just ludicrous, though. The idea that marriage is primarily about love and emotional companionship is an extremely modern idea. See Stephanie Coontz, Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage.
- mlyle 5y ago
  > like things were better in some mythic past. It doesn't need to mean this. We've got so much choice in how we structure our lives now. Choice mostly makes things better. Lots of bad outcomes become less prevalent. But some good outcomes become harder to find, and one can rationally have nostalgia for them.
- ChrisMarshallNY 5y ago
  > I always find "this day and age" kind of sentiments extremely eye-rolly, like things were better in some mythic past. I've encountered this sentiment, several times, lately. In my experience, any mention of a time before now, especially, when they find out that I am "chronologically-challenged," is met by a "Don't tell me about the 'good old days,' Grandpa!". This day and age, seems to have established a culture of real, nasty, institutionalized, anger at previous generations. It is unlike what I experienced. Younger folks have railed against their seniors for all of human history, but now, it's personal. I think I understand where a lot of the anger comes from. My generation has caused a lot of damage, and has exhibited almost awe-inspiring levels of selfishness. I'm pretty pissed, and I'm one of them. But that ain't me. I have lived a long-ish life, and have developed a lot of experience and PoV, as a result. I'm a kind, unselfish person, looking forward to the future, and making the world a better place, for my having lived in it. Not all that is old, is bad. Much is not directly applicable to today's world, but should not be discarded, wholesale. In many cases, only minor adjustments need to be done, in order to make a viewpoint, technique, or philosophy applicable to today's world. The story is a heart-wrenching one. I have many peers, experiencing a lot of these types of things (One of the things that happens, as we age). Not all of them are handling it as well as the author. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but all of us are destined to become "boomers." Every. Single. One. Of. Us. No exceptions. The alternative kind of sucks. One day, we will all be where I am. That is what makes ageism so crazy. I have been around long enough to watch some folks hoist by their own petard (a classic saying, BTW). They established a corporate culture, that eventually excluded them. https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news-in-pictures/news-briefly/britain-headed-for-tattooed-pensioner-crisis-2012083139624 https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news-in-pictures/news-briefly...
tokai 5y ago
It's a shallow comment that doesn't add anything of value.

Bitter divorcees probably. Having a marriage like that is a luxury though. Let's be honest: marriage is not the same as it was 40-80 years ago, and that's because society is not the same it was. Long term commitment to your spouse seems to be an idea left to the past now.

SketchySeaBeast 5y ago
"Long term commitment" isn't a luxury though, it's dedicated effort on the part of both spouses.
- sam0x17 5y ago
  OP's economic argument is pretty sound. 40-50 years ago you could buy a new house, get a solid blue collar job with a pension, and watch your house 5x in value over the next 50 years. Makes it very, very easy to settle down with someone and start a family. In today's economy, even for the relatively well-off, home ownership is essentially a pipe-dream and it is much harder to put down roots of any kind. The second the marriage becomes hard, it's a lot easier to break a lease than it is to break a mortgage.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]

mpmpmpmp 5y ago

The word luxury in this context usually implies some kind of privilege. Which is a strange thing to say.

frenchy 5y ago
To be fair, it is a bit of a privilege. Like most things, it requires a lot of work too, but people learn humility and kindness from each other. Those who grow up with loving parents are a lot more likely to become loving parents.

coldpie 5y ago

I didn't downvote, but I always find "this day and age" kind of sentiments extremely eye-rolly, like things were better in some mythic past.

keiferski 5y ago
Unless you think that things are always getting better, it is necessarily implied that some things were better in the past.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- coldpie 5y ago
  Compare these two sentences: > Having such a marriage in this day and age is truly a luxury, reserved only for the deepest of lovers. > Having such a marriage is truly a luxury, reserved only for the deepest of lovers. One contains a positive claim that something is worse now than it was before, which I think invites dispute and is entirely unnecessary anyway. It's a fine sentiment without the judgement.
- lthornberry 5y ago
  This particular claim is just ludicrous, though. The idea that marriage is primarily about love and emotional companionship is an extremely modern idea. See Stephanie Coontz, Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage.
mlyle 5y ago
> like things were better in some mythic past. It doesn't need to mean this. We've got so much choice in how we structure our lives now. Choice mostly makes things better. Lots of bad outcomes become less prevalent. But some good outcomes become harder to find, and one can rationally have nostalgia for them.
ChrisMarshallNY 5y ago
> I always find "this day and age" kind of sentiments extremely eye-rolly, like things were better in some mythic past. I've encountered this sentiment, several times, lately. In my experience, any mention of a time before now, especially, when they find out that I am "chronologically-challenged," is met by a "Don't tell me about the 'good old days,' Grandpa!". This day and age, seems to have established a culture of real, nasty, institutionalized, anger at previous generations. It is unlike what I experienced. Younger folks have railed against their seniors for all of human history, but now, it's personal. I think I understand where a lot of the anger comes from. My generation has caused a lot of damage, and has exhibited almost awe-inspiring levels of selfishness. I'm pretty pissed, and I'm one of them. But that ain't me. I have lived a long-ish life, and have developed a lot of experience and PoV, as a result. I'm a kind, unselfish person, looking forward to the future, and making the world a better place, for my having lived in it. Not all that is old, is bad. Much is not directly applicable to today's world, but should not be discarded, wholesale. In many cases, only minor adjustments need to be done, in order to make a viewpoint, technique, or philosophy applicable to today's world. The story is a heart-wrenching one. I have many peers, experiencing a lot of these types of things (One of the things that happens, as we age). Not all of them are handling it as well as the author. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but all of us are destined to become "boomers." Every. Single. One. Of. Us. No exceptions. The alternative kind of sucks. One day, we will all be where I am. That is what makes ageism so crazy. I have been around long enough to watch some folks hoist by their own petard (a classic saying, BTW). They established a corporate culture, that eventually excluded them. https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news-in-pictures/news-briefly/britain-headed-for-tattooed-pensioner-crisis-2012083139624 https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news-in-pictures/news-briefly...

tokai 5y ago

It's a shallow comment that doesn't add anything of value.