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> certain tools can help make a job easier Sure. If you insist on doing the unnecessary, possibly harmful job there are plenty of consumer grifts you can join

by bregma 5y ago

> certain tools can help make a job easier Sure. If you insist on doing the unnecessary, possibly harmful job there are plenty of consumer grifts you can join that are waiting to relieve you of your money or exploit you for profit in some other way, like tracking and reselling your personal information. There is, after all, a sucker born every minute. Some of them have recently become parents. But that's not a third option. That's just satisfying your urges.

hhmc 5y ago
This feels like really bad faith argumentation. You haven't engaged with the point being made -- that the tools _might_ actually make the job easier. You're just reiterating your view that "I didn't need these tools, so they are at best worthless and and at worst exploitative"
- stefan_ 5y ago
  There is the little matter of tens of thousands of years of human evolution where illiterate parents wrote down none of that and were providing to many more babies than just the one. This is extra ironic because there was no point being made besides "you’ve obviously not been the primary caretaker of an infant recently".
  - hluska 5y ago
    Do you have children? If not, you have no idea what it’s like. If so, can you accept that you had a different experience than another parent?? We’re all different, our little people are different and parenting is lonely. Instead of jumping in with our hot takes on what will work best for another person’s child, why can’t we just say: “That’s cool. Thanks for sharing. It reminds me of…” We’re not talking about object oriented design patterns, there’s no need to be pedantic and nobody wins if one person is right. This is parenting.
  - hhmc 5y ago
    There were also tens of thousands of years where you got TB and died aged 26, but I'll still take modern medicine when offered.
  - ariwilson 5y ago
    There were also thousands of years when parents judged other parents for "that's not how I did it and you turned out just fine!". Thanks gramps :).
    - MandieD 5y ago
      If my late mother had been around for this, she would have thought I was nuts for going to so much trouble to breastfeed, and let me know on a regular basis :) I treasure the detailed baby book she kept about me, though. My nerdy app data is helping me backfill one for my own son, who may or may not be interested in it once he has a kid.
  - roughly 5y ago
    A fun fact is that most of the increase in life expectancy has come via a reduction in infant and child mortality
hluska 5y ago
Yet, you keep satisfying your urge to cast judgment on an internet stranger?? What’s the difference? How are you helping?? What utility does angry expert parent bregma provide to this thread or to the other parent’s life??
- Vrondi 5y ago
  It really seems like they've been saying to take a deep breath and not pressure yourself into giving away all your data, and people here are self-defensively over-reacting. Saying that you don't _have_ to stress yourself out by being a micro-manager doesn't imply you're evil if you like being a micro-manager.
  - hluska 5y ago
    I catch that. But this parent isn’t giving away their data. They found a solution that works in their unique situation and chose to share it. I just don’t get the judgment. Maybe I’m more sensitive to it because I’m a single parent and have faced my own judgment. But dude, other parents can be awful to parents. It’s not okay. Let’s just be kind - parenting is hard enough without every expert telling you that based on their experience with their 1.75 children, you’re wrong.
  - magicalist 5y ago
    > take a deep breath and not pressure yourself into giving away all your data they were responding to a comment about a self-hosted web app, so it's not even relevant > doesn't imply you're evil Just that you're doing something "possibly harmful", you're "a sucker", and you're "just satisfying your urges". But, sure, not evil. Yeah, they were shit comments, people aren't over reacting by asking how they could possibly be helpful.
MandieD 5y ago
Uh, you did see the self-hosted part, right?

by bregma 5y ago

hhmc 5y ago

This feels like really bad faith argumentation. You haven't engaged with the point being made -- that the tools _might_ actually make the job easier. You're just reiterating your view that "I didn't need these tools, so they are at best worthless and and at worst exploitative"

stefan_ 5y ago
There is the little matter of tens of thousands of years of human evolution where illiterate parents wrote down none of that and were providing to many more babies than just the one. This is extra ironic because there was no point being made besides "you’ve obviously not been the primary caretaker of an infant recently".
- hluska 5y ago
  Do you have children? If not, you have no idea what it’s like. If so, can you accept that you had a different experience than another parent?? We’re all different, our little people are different and parenting is lonely. Instead of jumping in with our hot takes on what will work best for another person’s child, why can’t we just say: “That’s cool. Thanks for sharing. It reminds me of…” We’re not talking about object oriented design patterns, there’s no need to be pedantic and nobody wins if one person is right. This is parenting.
- hhmc 5y ago
  There were also tens of thousands of years where you got TB and died aged 26, but I'll still take modern medicine when offered.
- ariwilson 5y ago
  There were also thousands of years when parents judged other parents for "that's not how I did it and you turned out just fine!". Thanks gramps :).
  - MandieD 5y ago
    If my late mother had been around for this, she would have thought I was nuts for going to so much trouble to breastfeed, and let me know on a regular basis :) I treasure the detailed baby book she kept about me, though. My nerdy app data is helping me backfill one for my own son, who may or may not be interested in it once he has a kid.
- roughly 5y ago
  A fun fact is that most of the increase in life expectancy has come via a reduction in infant and child mortality

hluska 5y ago

Yet, you keep satisfying your urge to cast judgment on an internet stranger?? What’s the difference? How are you helping?? What utility does angry expert parent bregma provide to this thread or to the other parent’s life??

Vrondi 5y ago
It really seems like they've been saying to take a deep breath and not pressure yourself into giving away all your data, and people here are self-defensively over-reacting. Saying that you don't _have_ to stress yourself out by being a micro-manager doesn't imply you're evil if you like being a micro-manager.
- hluska 5y ago
  I catch that. But this parent isn’t giving away their data. They found a solution that works in their unique situation and chose to share it. I just don’t get the judgment. Maybe I’m more sensitive to it because I’m a single parent and have faced my own judgment. But dude, other parents can be awful to parents. It’s not okay. Let’s just be kind - parenting is hard enough without every expert telling you that based on their experience with their 1.75 children, you’re wrong.
- magicalist 5y ago
  > take a deep breath and not pressure yourself into giving away all your data they were responding to a comment about a self-hosted web app, so it's not even relevant > doesn't imply you're evil Just that you're doing something "possibly harmful", you're "a sucker", and you're "just satisfying your urges". But, sure, not evil. Yeah, they were shit comments, people aren't over reacting by asking how they could possibly be helpful.

MandieD 5y ago

Uh, you did see the self-hosted part, right?