I experienced this. The death was so traumatizing, because I was there, that it sent a zap through my body and I never slept the same after that, three years ag

I experienced this. The death was so traumatizing, because I was there, that it sent a zap through my body and I never slept the same after that, three years ago. And it turned into schizoaffective disorder. But I never fully grieved or felt sad.