Everyone process is grief differently and in my opinion there's no wrong way to do it. The only wrong way would be to avoid it. It doesn't seem like you are av

Everyone process is grief differently and in my opinion there's no wrong way to do it. The only wrong way would be to avoid it. It doesn't seem like you are avoiding the grief it's just that you process it differently than those around you. Do not feel bad or think that your experience is less than theirs simply because of the way you process it differently. Some people make very outward signs because that's how they process their grief or maybe they are in fact putting on a show because they believe that's how one processes grief. You can never really know what's in the heart of another. For yourself and your description of things my opinion is you are processing it differently but you are still processing your grief and acknowledging that it's there. You are still going through the healthy stages of understanding what's going on don't feel bad because others do it in different ways. I process grief very much in the same way that I think you do. I do not express a lot of outward emotions or outward crying but I do it through quiet contemplation. Just so you can understand my direct experiences I've had grandparents and other elderly family pass but I've also had my son die. It was about 6 to 7 years ago now he was in his early twenties and was in a car accident and I was the only person in the hospital room at the time that he passed even though my entire family was there. My wife and oldest daughter very much had the outward displays of grief like you describe. They saw counseling and they went to various programs that help you deal with grief counseling and group sessions and it was all very helpful for them. It allowed them to process their grief in a way but I didn't avail myself to any of that and I don't think that my grief was any less than theirs or that I handled it in a worse way than theirs. I do think that they did perceive me as a bit cold but I have always been more emotionally distanced then they are to anything. I also had my one of best friends pass away in my house. This was shortly before she was 30 years old she moved back from the other side of the country to stay with me for a while because she was having problems with addiction and so forth and I didn't realize how bad it was until I found her passed away in her bed of a heroin overdose. This was a very long time friend I knew her mother or sisters and some of her extended family and I processed the grief in much the same way. Everyone's different and sometimes we can put on a show to act as if we fit in to try and make others feel comfortable. That works for certain things, works especially well in my job, but for this my advice would be don't do it. Your grief is yours process it how you need you don't need to put on a show at this time in your life to attempt to make others comfortable. If they're your friends or family and they truly care about you they will understand you and understand you are grieving in your own way and accept you for it just like you accept them.