3 ms·

If you expect an honest answer from your candidate, and you don't expect a well-qualified candidate to choose a well-endowed female to be their character of cho

by ben174 5y ago

If you expect an honest answer from your candidate, and you don't expect a well-qualified candidate to choose a well-endowed female to be their character of choice, then you're living in a fantasy world. I understand that it's insane to talk about that during an interview, but I think it's fairly common for non-creepy people to choose a character they find pleasurable to look at.

dpark 5y ago
> I understand that it's insane to talk about that during an interview That’s the key part, though. Part of being a professional is knowing how and when to appropriately compartmentalize. Keep the video game heroine fetishes at home. If someone can’t keep that stuff to themselves for an interview, there’s no way they’ll be able to keep it to themselves on the job. Hire someone inept enough to discuss this on an interview and you’ve hired your next sexual harassment case.
- pdimitar 5y ago
  Huh, you make quite the leap here? If you ask me what kind of characters I play in an MMO (for example) then I'm going to honestly tell you that as a heterosexual man I find it pleasurable to look at a woman's behind while I'm playing. That would be ONLY if you ask me "why do you pick females as playable characters?" however, I won't blurt it out of the blue. I haven't harassed a woman in any capacity, in any setting, work or not, in my life. The mere idea to noticeably ogle a female co-worker or make sexual jokes towards them never even occurred to me. I learned that this is a thing for the first time in my life when I was 29 or so, when one colleague was fired for following two attractive coworkers around and not leaving them alone for a smoke break (WTF). I think it's fair to give an honest answer if asked "why do you pick female heroines?". And yet it seems you'll flag me as a potential harasser? Maybe I'm misunderstanding you though.
  - dpark 5y ago
    Depends a lot on what the interviewer actually asked and how they directed the conversation, and also on how the candidate responds. If the interviewer is badgering the candidate to try to force a “damning” response, yeah, that interviewer sucks and is engaged in inappropriate behavior. But if the candidate jumps to tell you he likes to play half-naked characters, that’s also a red flag. If an interviewer specifically asks if you only play female characters and why, that’s pretty weird. If your response is something like “because I like their jiggly titties” instead of something like “because I find them attractive”, well, that’s even weirder and frankly not work appropriate. But yeah, if the interviewer is pushing you to discuss your favorite characters, you shouldn’t feel the need to hide the fact that you play female characters. That’s your preference so whatever. That’s different from making it overtly sexual.
    - pdimitar 5y ago
      Ah, I definitely wouldn't start discussing sexy female features with you on an interview, as if we're two drunk friends in a bar (I don't do that either but anyway). I'll only answer in a potentially compromising way if pressured by the interviewer -- and even then I'm much more likely to retaliate with "why are you focusing on the fact that I enjoy looking at attractive video game characters so much?". So my previous comment wasn't very accurate, sorry. But on the rare occasion I think I sense people stigmatizing sexuality itself. Happy to have been wrong.
      - dpark 5y ago
        Your question was totally appropriate. I can see how my comment could come off the way you read it. I share your concern about stigmatizing sexuality. People are people and should not have to pretend to be asexual.

by ben174 5y ago

dpark 5y ago

> I understand that it's insane to talk about that during an interview That’s the key part, though. Part of being a professional is knowing how and when to appropriately compartmentalize. Keep the video game heroine fetishes at home. If someone can’t keep that stuff to themselves for an interview, there’s no way they’ll be able to keep it to themselves on the job. Hire someone inept enough to discuss this on an interview and you’ve hired your next sexual harassment case.

pdimitar 5y ago
Huh, you make quite the leap here? If you ask me what kind of characters I play in an MMO (for example) then I'm going to honestly tell you that as a heterosexual man I find it pleasurable to look at a woman's behind while I'm playing. That would be ONLY if you ask me "why do you pick females as playable characters?" however, I won't blurt it out of the blue. I haven't harassed a woman in any capacity, in any setting, work or not, in my life. The mere idea to noticeably ogle a female co-worker or make sexual jokes towards them never even occurred to me. I learned that this is a thing for the first time in my life when I was 29 or so, when one colleague was fired for following two attractive coworkers around and not leaving them alone for a smoke break (WTF). I think it's fair to give an honest answer if asked "why do you pick female heroines?". And yet it seems you'll flag me as a potential harasser? Maybe I'm misunderstanding you though.
- dpark 5y ago
  Depends a lot on what the interviewer actually asked and how they directed the conversation, and also on how the candidate responds. If the interviewer is badgering the candidate to try to force a “damning” response, yeah, that interviewer sucks and is engaged in inappropriate behavior. But if the candidate jumps to tell you he likes to play half-naked characters, that’s also a red flag. If an interviewer specifically asks if you only play female characters and why, that’s pretty weird. If your response is something like “because I like their jiggly titties” instead of something like “because I find them attractive”, well, that’s even weirder and frankly not work appropriate. But yeah, if the interviewer is pushing you to discuss your favorite characters, you shouldn’t feel the need to hide the fact that you play female characters. That’s your preference so whatever. That’s different from making it overtly sexual.
  - pdimitar 5y ago
    Ah, I definitely wouldn't start discussing sexy female features with you on an interview, as if we're two drunk friends in a bar (I don't do that either but anyway). I'll only answer in a potentially compromising way if pressured by the interviewer -- and even then I'm much more likely to retaliate with "why are you focusing on the fact that I enjoy looking at attractive video game characters so much?". So my previous comment wasn't very accurate, sorry. But on the rare occasion I think I sense people stigmatizing sexuality itself. Happy to have been wrong.
    - dpark 5y ago
      Your question was totally appropriate. I can see how my comment could come off the way you read it. I share your concern about stigmatizing sexuality. People are people and should not have to pretend to be asexual.