4 ms·

On rare occasions, I'm left with both wife and kids out of the house for a few days. Just about every time I lose the first (non-work) day entirely to video gam

On rare occasions, I'm left with both wife and kids out of the house for a few days. Just about every time I lose the first (non-work) day entirely to video games. Then the next day I'm just... done with games for a good long while, and start doing productive things because I want to. It's like I have a fucking-around-uselessly tank that's never full (near-empty, in fact) usually, so most of my free time goes to worthless activities like games or bad TV or—ahem—certain websites of dubious value, but as soon as I'm allowed to fill it up, I don't need to "add more" for a while. I was very surprised the first time this happened, because I fully intended to waste all of the time, but when it happened I simply did not want to. Same thing happened the next time. Seems to just be how I operate, which kinda sucks because 360+ days per year that "tank" is both very demanding of time, and yet unsatisfied. Relatedly, I think the worst thing about work is that it's the same shit day after day, week after week, month after month. Left to my own devices I would still write code—but, like, hyper-focused, a few scattered weeks per year, and in between I'd probably hardly touch a keyboard. It becomes a draining grind when that's all you do, with only infrequent and never-long-enough breaks. Keyboard and screen. Again. And again tomorrow. Indefinitely. Ugh.

paulryanrogers 5y ago
Try fixing up a project house. It's amazing how quickly once beautiful properties can get run down without maintenance. And the hundreds of hours you can lose trying to undo the damage.
- mlac 5y ago
  And the hundreds of hours of YouTube videos learning about tools and techniques to fix the house.
- hanoz 5y ago
  That does sound really appealing, but, as is the case for increasingly more of us these days, it really takes the edge off when your landlord is the ultimate beneficiary.
  - anamax 5y ago
    Few people make money running, yet they do, and the fact that Nike makes money from that running doesn't seem to bother them.
zackmorris 5y ago
Ya the other comments here are all good, but this is the one that resonates with me the most. As developers/makers/inventors, we can generally solve any problem or adapt to any situation. But it's the idea that we'll have to do that tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.. that really undermines my psyche. If it weren't for the confines of the normal world, I could have automated or otherwise solved most of the issues I have to deal with. I could have written my own software to sell for residual income, or a library that helps countless other developers, or even a language with fewer or no foot guns so I could solve actual problems instead of putting out fires endlessly. But instead I have to go to work each day to make rent. So my perception is that I have to spend 5+ units of work to free up 1 unit of free time where I could get actual work done. My best efficiency under the workaday world will likely never break (or even approach) 20%. That said, I realize that my view as stated above is laced with negativity. I'm not seeing the benefits of civilized society such as the infrastructure that's already in place around us, or how inexpensive even high-tech goods have become. I'm ignoring the stochastic and emergent behavior to dwell on the deterministic. Which I believe is what's at the core of suffering in the postmodern world. So I'm centering my focus on making work seasonal again. I think humans evolved to hunt and gather for 2 hours per day and store enough food to rest for 3 months. We're working about 5 times harder than we should, right at the limit of sustainable human endurance. A 30 hour work week would get us closer to 4:1. I'd also like to see more jobs where 2 workers do the work of 1, at 20 hours each. And at a minimum, we need far more businesses like Uber (no affiliation) where workers have full control over when they work and for how long. Short of all that, meditation does appear to shift attention towards the reality where progress is happening. Setting boundaries appears to effect those changes externally. Metaphysics don't exactly follow physical laws, but I believe there is a harmony to them that can be modulated. In my case, I reclaimed Saturday in my personal relationship as my hobby day and negotiated a 30 hour work week with 2 days remote. Now your current employer may be reluctant to do this, so you may need to flip things around and see their needs. You can build a team or find friend(s) to cover your hours (best choice IMHO), or pitch the reduced cost to them (rarely but occasionally works with small businesses). If your employer isn't motivated to consider your needs, then land a 30 hour position elsewhere and let them decide if they want to keep you. If not, no harm no foul, it's just business. So far I've only set a couple of boundaries like this, and very recently. Working through that kind of growth can be hard but it's made a big difference. It's not the act that we get stuck on, but the ramifications. That's why I think that metaphysical practice is so important for getting unstuck.

paulryanrogers 5y ago

Try fixing up a project house. It's amazing how quickly once beautiful properties can get run down without maintenance. And the hundreds of hours you can lose trying to undo the damage.

mlac 5y ago
And the hundreds of hours of YouTube videos learning about tools and techniques to fix the house.
hanoz 5y ago
That does sound really appealing, but, as is the case for increasingly more of us these days, it really takes the edge off when your landlord is the ultimate beneficiary.
- anamax 5y ago
  Few people make money running, yet they do, and the fact that Nike makes money from that running doesn't seem to bother them.

zackmorris 5y ago

Ya the other comments here are all good, but this is the one that resonates with me the most. As developers/makers/inventors, we can generally solve any problem or adapt to any situation. But it's the idea that we'll have to do that tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.. that really undermines my psyche. If it weren't for the confines of the normal world, I could have automated or otherwise solved most of the issues I have to deal with. I could have written my own software to sell for residual income, or a library that helps countless other developers, or even a language with fewer or no foot guns so I could solve actual problems instead of putting out fires endlessly. But instead I have to go to work each day to make rent. So my perception is that I have to spend 5+ units of work to free up 1 unit of free time where I could get actual work done. My best efficiency under the workaday world will likely never break (or even approach) 20%. That said, I realize that my view as stated above is laced with negativity. I'm not seeing the benefits of civilized society such as the infrastructure that's already in place around us, or how inexpensive even high-tech goods have become. I'm ignoring the stochastic and emergent behavior to dwell on the deterministic. Which I believe is what's at the core of suffering in the postmodern world. So I'm centering my focus on making work seasonal again. I think humans evolved to hunt and gather for 2 hours per day and store enough food to rest for 3 months. We're working about 5 times harder than we should, right at the limit of sustainable human endurance. A 30 hour work week would get us closer to 4:1. I'd also like to see more jobs where 2 workers do the work of 1, at 20 hours each. And at a minimum, we need far more businesses like Uber (no affiliation) where workers have full control over when they work and for how long. Short of all that, meditation does appear to shift attention towards the reality where progress is happening. Setting boundaries appears to effect those changes externally. Metaphysics don't exactly follow physical laws, but I believe there is a harmony to them that can be modulated. In my case, I reclaimed Saturday in my personal relationship as my hobby day and negotiated a 30 hour work week with 2 days remote. Now your current employer may be reluctant to do this, so you may need to flip things around and see their needs. You can build a team or find friend(s) to cover your hours (best choice IMHO), or pitch the reduced cost to them (rarely but occasionally works with small businesses). If your employer isn't motivated to consider your needs, then land a 30 hour position elsewhere and let them decide if they want to keep you. If not, no harm no foul, it's just business. So far I've only set a couple of boundaries like this, and very recently. Working through that kind of growth can be hard but it's made a big difference. It's not the act that we get stuck on, but the ramifications. That's why I think that metaphysical practice is so important for getting unstuck.