3 ms·

Dudes who leave sexless marriages are really hurting their partner financially, emotionally, and mentally, so the idea that doing this is not "considering the w

Dudes who leave sexless marriages are really hurting their partner financially, emotionally, and mentally, so the idea that doing this is not "considering the woman" is asinine.

PaulHoule 5y ago
I'm not naturally inclined to say good things about Focus on the Family and Christian therapists but after 20 years of suffering with this I came across a YouTube video by a Christian therapist who said point blank that if you are suffering in a sexless marriage almost certainly your partner was a victim of abuse. I spoke to my wife about this one sleepless night and she said "well, are you really ready to hear about it?" Conventional therapists do the ordinary thing they do with a high failure rate. So often I see couples who are acting really cute doing the things they were told to do in couples therapy then I come around a few months they are depressed and I can swear I can smell a dead rat somewhere in the apartment. Next time I hear they broke up. Conventional therapists think that is par for the course. Christian therapists think that means the devil wins and they see it as a personal failure, so they try harder. I know nothing about the person who you are replying to but I can only image she's part of a throwaway culture were it is normal to abandon people because they aren't meeting your needs at this very moment and I have no idea if she's experienced the kind of deep attachment to another person that is possible, or that a mature person can be deeply frustrated in a situation but also be 100% committed to their family. As much as I've been angry and sad, understanding this situation has only deepened my relationship and increased my commitment even though I am planning to take actions that the Christian therapists would completely disapprove of.

3 ms·

Dudes who leave sexless marriages are really hurting their partner financially, emotionally, and mentally, so the idea that doing this is not "considering the w

by Der_Einzige 5y ago

Dudes who leave sexless marriages are really hurting their partner financially, emotionally, and mentally, so the idea that doing this is not "considering the woman" is asinine.

PaulHoule 5y ago
I'm not naturally inclined to say good things about Focus on the Family and Christian therapists but after 20 years of suffering with this I came across a YouTube video by a Christian therapist who said point blank that if you are suffering in a sexless marriage almost certainly your partner was a victim of abuse. I spoke to my wife about this one sleepless night and she said "well, are you really ready to hear about it?" Conventional therapists do the ordinary thing they do with a high failure rate. So often I see couples who are acting really cute doing the things they were told to do in couples therapy then I come around a few months they are depressed and I can swear I can smell a dead rat somewhere in the apartment. Next time I hear they broke up. Conventional therapists think that is par for the course. Christian therapists think that means the devil wins and they see it as a personal failure, so they try harder. I know nothing about the person who you are replying to but I can only image she's part of a throwaway culture were it is normal to abandon people because they aren't meeting your needs at this very moment and I have no idea if she's experienced the kind of deep attachment to another person that is possible, or that a mature person can be deeply frustrated in a situation but also be 100% committed to their family. As much as I've been angry and sad, understanding this situation has only deepened my relationship and increased my commitment even though I am planning to take actions that the Christian therapists would completely disapprove of.