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> Anyone who claims to have their identity figured out is either in denial or stopped digging into it for the time being. The rabbit hole truly never ends. I a

by Zababa 5y ago

> Anyone who claims to have their identity figured out is either in denial or stopped digging into it for the time being. The rabbit hole truly never ends. I agree with that part, but I also think that often giving a name isn't really about identity, but about having a shared space to communicate. For example, when I want to order something online, I have to give a delivery address. I may live here. I may not. It might be just a PO box, or the address of a friend. But, by giving this address, I'm saying "put what I want in a box, I'll handle it from here". I feel the same for names. It's not about expressing who I am deeply, it's about giving something to people that they can use. Now, as usual, the correct answer here might be to not even ask for a name in the first place. Usually websites have my email address, and that's enough. They can put the information that they want to transmit to me in a box, and I'll take a look.

dleslie 5y ago
> > Anyone who claims to have their identity figured out is either in denial or stopped digging into it for the time being. The rabbit hole truly never ends. Like you stated, it's a bit of a leap to conflate self identity and one's name. It's just an identifier, not the full self. And the false dichotomy seems a tad presumptuous. Some folks truly do have a firm understanding of themselves and lack self-doubt. Or for some their identity isn't the focus of their activities, and acts as a simple tool to achieve other things. Or perhaps what they've figured out is to accept that their identity is fluid and will forever be hard to define. Or...
mulmen 5y ago
I'm not sure the name/address analogy fits. Names are deeply personal, at least for some people. An address is not open to interpretation and doesn't convey any personal meaning. On the other hand, if the pizza place asks for a "home" address that makes me uncomfortable (conceptually offensive/technically incorrect) when I order to a friends house. I know what it means so I fill in the correct value to get the result I want but the form should say "delivery address".
- Zababa 5y ago
  > An address is not open to interpretation and doesn't convey any personal meaning. I've heard plenty of time to not put my address in my CV if I'm not currently living in a nice place. Especially for students looking for job, a foreign-sounding name and an address in a relatively bad neighborhood (where prices are cheaper) can be enough for people to reject your application. > On the other hand, if the pizza place asks for a "home" address that makes me uncomfortable (conceptually offensive/technically incorrect) when I order to a friends house. I know what it means so I fill in the correct value to get the result I want but the form should say "delivery address". I think we agree in that forms shouldn't ask for a "personal" information when they need a "practical" informations ("where do you live?" vs "where should we deliver your pizza?"). Names are like that, I think. 95% of the time, when websites ask for a name, they want something to put in marketing emails or when you're connected. I can understand that most people don't mind, but adding an option to opt out shouldn't be too hard.

by Zababa 5y ago

dleslie 5y ago

> > Anyone who claims to have their identity figured out is either in denial or stopped digging into it for the time being. The rabbit hole truly never ends. Like you stated, it's a bit of a leap to conflate self identity and one's name. It's just an identifier, not the full self. And the false dichotomy seems a tad presumptuous. Some folks truly do have a firm understanding of themselves and lack self-doubt. Or for some their identity isn't the focus of their activities, and acts as a simple tool to achieve other things. Or perhaps what they've figured out is to accept that their identity is fluid and will forever be hard to define. Or...

mulmen 5y ago

I'm not sure the name/address analogy fits. Names are deeply personal, at least for some people. An address is not open to interpretation and doesn't convey any personal meaning. On the other hand, if the pizza place asks for a "home" address that makes me uncomfortable (conceptually offensive/technically incorrect) when I order to a friends house. I know what it means so I fill in the correct value to get the result I want but the form should say "delivery address".

Zababa 5y ago
> An address is not open to interpretation and doesn't convey any personal meaning. I've heard plenty of time to not put my address in my CV if I'm not currently living in a nice place. Especially for students looking for job, a foreign-sounding name and an address in a relatively bad neighborhood (where prices are cheaper) can be enough for people to reject your application. > On the other hand, if the pizza place asks for a "home" address that makes me uncomfortable (conceptually offensive/technically incorrect) when I order to a friends house. I know what it means so I fill in the correct value to get the result I want but the form should say "delivery address". I think we agree in that forms shouldn't ask for a "personal" information when they need a "practical" informations ("where do you live?" vs "where should we deliver your pizza?"). Names are like that, I think. 95% of the time, when websites ask for a name, they want something to put in marketing emails or when you're connected. I can understand that most people don't mind, but adding an option to opt out shouldn't be too hard.