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Your boss sounds like a narcissist. Abusing your time before you even begin, saying he’ll “take care of you”, confident but uneducated. The comment about vacati

by zwkrt 5y ago

Your boss sounds like a narcissist. Abusing your time before you even begin, saying he’ll “take care of you”, confident but uneducated. The comment about vacation is especially telling; by company standards it shouldn’t be a big deal to take a day (within reason) but in your boss’s world, vacation is a valuable commodity that he controls for his employees. If this is the case it will only get worse when you are in close contact. If he actually scoffed (an intentionally demeaning gesture) at your reasonable boundary (i.e. getting paid to work) imagine all the emotional crap he’ll pull once you’re actually in his domain of influence as an employee! Also I don’t buy the “we just want your input” line. You’re a new employee, why would their decision on vendor tech rely on someone who hasn’t even started? Sounds fishy. As a final thought, a boss (or company!) who creates feelings of “just wait, it will be better when ___” is probably abusive. If you feel that way before starting, tread very carefully and be very observant.

rad_gruchalski 5y ago
Great comment. I’d love to learn your thought process behind this part: > As a final thought, a boss (or company!) who creates feelings of “just wait, it will be better when ___” is probably abusive. If you feel that way before starting, tread very carefully and be very observant.
- zwkrt 5y ago
  Assuaging peoples concerns about the present by promising a better future is ok in the short term, but I tend to see it as a long-term pattern of some managers. Stringing people along for a nonexistent promotion, letting on-call remain bad because next quarter we will have enough time to fix it (we won’t), that sort of thing. I say “abusive” but maybe “manipulative” is better.
  - muttled 5y ago
    "On-call will get better when we get more people on-boarded" (but the secret is turnover is so high that they'll never fully staff)

by zwkrt 5y ago

rad_gruchalski 5y ago

Great comment. I’d love to learn your thought process behind this part: > As a final thought, a boss (or company!) who creates feelings of “just wait, it will be better when ___” is probably abusive. If you feel that way before starting, tread very carefully and be very observant.

zwkrt 5y ago
Assuaging peoples concerns about the present by promising a better future is ok in the short term, but I tend to see it as a long-term pattern of some managers. Stringing people along for a nonexistent promotion, letting on-call remain bad because next quarter we will have enough time to fix it (we won’t), that sort of thing. I say “abusive” but maybe “manipulative” is better.
- muttled 5y ago
  "On-call will get better when we get more people on-boarded" (but the secret is turnover is so high that they'll never fully staff)