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I'm always skeptical of people who contend that teenagers/children are happier without seemingly any data other than their personal rose-colored memories. I pe

I'm always skeptical of people who contend that teenagers/children are happier without seemingly any data other than their personal rose-colored memories. I personally have grown happier every year since age 6 or so (prior to that I don't remember, but I imagine I was the typical bipolar child joyous at one second and in the depths of despair the next). Mainly because of increased personal autonomy, long term goal fulfillment, and knowledge/experience increase.

lsc 15y ago
This is also my experience. I think misery is fairly normal for children and teenagers. They have no control over their life, and they are surrounded by jerks. I mean, come on; nearly everyone is an asshole at 16. God knows I was. And when you are 16, you are mostly around other 16 year old assholes, and you are treated like an asshole by adults, because, well, you probably are one. For me, when I was that age, my favorite part of any day was going to my part-time IT job, where I helped county workers (mostly 40+) with their windows problems. The contrast between interacting with adults who treated me like a real human being that had something to offer and the rest of my life was extreme. And really, I don't think my life was that unusual. I mean, besides the after-school IT job.
- ams6110 15y ago
  Counterpoint, I think my happiest days were in childhood. Adulthood, at least for someone who's being responsible for himself and family, is far from being the magical "freedom" that kids and teens imagine it is.
  - lsc 15y ago
    Yeah, different people have different experiences. I find adulthood to be very free. I mean, I'm sure it would be different if I had children, and maybe even if my spouse couldn't support herself, but as is? I pretty much do whatever I feel like doing. I mean, there are tradeoffs, and I have to live with the consequences of my mistakes, and I do need to work a certain amount every few days to avoid destroying the lifestyle I've set up, but beyond that? I can make my world be what I want it to be. I can easily work more and have a larger company, money for cool gadgets or future time off, or alternately, I can work less. Heck, my employee is good enough now that if I really want to I could almost completely stop work (or get a regular full-time job and have lots of money for gadgets.) and let things coast until he gets sick of it and leaves. If I find a particular task tiresome or unpleasant, I can, generally speaking, pay a small fee and have someone else deal with it, or I can organize my life such that it doesn't have to be done. I go to sleep when I feel like it, and I wake up when I want to. Nobody is riding me to learn skills that are both difficult and useless. Really, nobody is riding me to learn anything; When I feel like it, I can go learn new things that I find interesting and/or useful. I can challenge myself as much as I like, or I can stay home for a few days and read Asimov's complete foundation series. Heck, if I want structure, I can build my own, or ask others to impose it on me. This is one of my current projects; designing and then implementing some structure in areas where I think structure will make me happier. But, I value this freedom highly, and I'm willing to pay for it; I jumped from highschool to overpaid programmer/sysadmin gigs in '97, and have put a large part of the difference between the upper middle class salary paid to someone with my skills and the amount of money someone like me actually needs to live towards starting my own business (or rather, towards mistakes I made while starting my own business.) I mean, even now, with my business going fairly well, I'm earning slightly less than the nationwide median per-capita income while living in an area where the local median per-capita income is about twice that, so I've made some sacrifices for that freedom. But it was my choice, and really, I'm pretty happy with how it has turned out. Over the last year or so I've been rather less productive, and I'm focusing on ramping up my productivity for the next year or two. I've made some pretty good progress this month, which is satisfying. but again, this is my choice. Being an adult is wonderful.

lsc 15y ago

This is also my experience. I think misery is fairly normal for children and teenagers. They have no control over their life, and they are surrounded by jerks. I mean, come on; nearly everyone is an asshole at 16. God knows I was. And when you are 16, you are mostly around other 16 year old assholes, and you are treated like an asshole by adults, because, well, you probably are one. For me, when I was that age, my favorite part of any day was going to my part-time IT job, where I helped county workers (mostly 40+) with their windows problems. The contrast between interacting with adults who treated me like a real human being that had something to offer and the rest of my life was extreme. And really, I don't think my life was that unusual. I mean, besides the after-school IT job.

ams6110 15y ago
Counterpoint, I think my happiest days were in childhood. Adulthood, at least for someone who's being responsible for himself and family, is far from being the magical "freedom" that kids and teens imagine it is.
- lsc 15y ago
  Yeah, different people have different experiences. I find adulthood to be very free. I mean, I'm sure it would be different if I had children, and maybe even if my spouse couldn't support herself, but as is? I pretty much do whatever I feel like doing. I mean, there are tradeoffs, and I have to live with the consequences of my mistakes, and I do need to work a certain amount every few days to avoid destroying the lifestyle I've set up, but beyond that? I can make my world be what I want it to be. I can easily work more and have a larger company, money for cool gadgets or future time off, or alternately, I can work less. Heck, my employee is good enough now that if I really want to I could almost completely stop work (or get a regular full-time job and have lots of money for gadgets.) and let things coast until he gets sick of it and leaves. If I find a particular task tiresome or unpleasant, I can, generally speaking, pay a small fee and have someone else deal with it, or I can organize my life such that it doesn't have to be done. I go to sleep when I feel like it, and I wake up when I want to. Nobody is riding me to learn skills that are both difficult and useless. Really, nobody is riding me to learn anything; When I feel like it, I can go learn new things that I find interesting and/or useful. I can challenge myself as much as I like, or I can stay home for a few days and read Asimov's complete foundation series. Heck, if I want structure, I can build my own, or ask others to impose it on me. This is one of my current projects; designing and then implementing some structure in areas where I think structure will make me happier. But, I value this freedom highly, and I'm willing to pay for it; I jumped from highschool to overpaid programmer/sysadmin gigs in '97, and have put a large part of the difference between the upper middle class salary paid to someone with my skills and the amount of money someone like me actually needs to live towards starting my own business (or rather, towards mistakes I made while starting my own business.) I mean, even now, with my business going fairly well, I'm earning slightly less than the nationwide median per-capita income while living in an area where the local median per-capita income is about twice that, so I've made some sacrifices for that freedom. But it was my choice, and really, I'm pretty happy with how it has turned out. Over the last year or so I've been rather less productive, and I'm focusing on ramping up my productivity for the next year or two. I've made some pretty good progress this month, which is satisfying. but again, this is my choice. Being an adult is wonderful.