> I can hardly bear to think about it > to avoid cognitive dissonance > promptly shunt thought of the painful topic back to my deepest mental recesses. > ...

> I can hardly bear to think about it > to avoid cognitive dissonance > promptly shunt thought of the painful topic back to my deepest mental recesses. > ... This sounds a lot like an anxiety disorder causing more then natural procrastination. I.e. it doesn't sound like "I'm not motivated" but like "I'm too anxious to do it even if I'm motivated".