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1) STOP DRINKING IT 2) Get new friends (seriously). If you continue to associate with the same friends, you'll have the same problem and point of view. 3) Let

1) STOP DRINKING IT 2) Get new friends (seriously). If you continue to associate with the same friends, you'll have the same problem and point of view. 3) Let yourself go through the withdrawal of the "fun" 4) Get on with life, figure out what you consider without including alcohol.

danuker 5y ago
Possible step 5: integrate old friends one by one into your new circle, saving them from alcoholism
- geocrasher 5y ago
  Sorry, but no. Cutting ties is more important. If you look at any 12 step program, leaving the old life behind is vital. They need to find their own way. EDIT: I should have said "most recovery programs" rather than specifying 12 step. Please ignore the 12 step part and realize that I'm advising staying away from the people who are part of the OP's problem.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  - bluefirebrand 5y ago
    Any 12 step program will likely also emphasize support from friends and family. Cutting ties doesn't have to be all or nothing, and it doesn't have to be everyone in that group. If you and a friend are both serious about quitting alcohol, they might be your best ally in quitting.
  - oneplane 5y ago
    https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/the-surprising-failures-of-12-steps/284616/ https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/the-surpr... 12 step programs are a lie, they just isolate people, make them annihilate themselves all for the purpose of then assuming a higher power has to save them from themselves, after which they either fail or become converted to the religion that hosts the current incarnation of the program. There is a minority of modified programs that don't do that, but the classic one is not that. That said, if it 'works' for someone that's great, but if it is just replacing one thing with another, it's just a sidestep and not an improvement (except for bystanders who only 'see' things as a third party and because it 'looks' better they think it therefore must be better). In addition, removing the source of the problem (i.e. friends that cause you to drink) can help, but not as a universal solution. If people have such a degree of control over your actions, it's going to be more than just the friends that drink that can cause the problem. There are however, a whole lot of other options that are not religious conversion that have good (and measurable) results. As soon as someone recognises they have a problem they need help solving and actually want to solve it, that's when you can actually get somewhere.
- bluefirebrand 5y ago
  This is true. You're probably not the only one who wants to quit drinking. I wouldn't view it as "saving" them, but otherwise yeah. If you lead people might follow. In most groups I've seen, there's really only one person who is the heavy drinker, and they bring everyone else along.
brockwhittaker 5y ago
also the amount of fun is close to zero sum in life. that’s why kids can play with cardboard boxes and adults can’t figure out how to have any fun. reducing alcohol for a while will reduce fun, but then your threshold/sensitivity for what is enjoyable will increase, and the endorphins will return.
- psyc 5y ago
  https://youtu.be/T8SWmlQU1pU?t=34 https://youtu.be/T8SWmlQU1pU?t=34
cammikebrown 5y ago
This isn’t necessarily true. In college, I only drank very occasionally before I was 21. All of my friends drank. We still had a lot of fun. You don’t just sit around in a circle drinking. I’m currently doing a dry January and I still go out with my friends. There’s plenty of tasty non-alcoholic beverages.
- geocrasher 5y ago
  That may be true for your circumstance, but I wrote that with the OP's circumstance in mind.
- lotsofpulp 5y ago
  It depends how hammered the group is getting. If everyone is pacing so they are only slightly buzzed, it can still be fun for a sober person. If people are drinking to be drunk, as they tend to do in early 20s, then the sober person will not have so much fun after a couple hours once everyone else is inebriated.
- spiffytech 5y ago
  As someone who doesn't drink, I've never minded when friends have a drink over dinner or bring a bottle to game night. But if folks keep pouring all night, there eventually comes a point where I leave early because staying there sober just isn't any fun. Some people often stop after a couple, and some people seldom do.
kulashaker 5y ago
donohoe 5y ago
I think you're skipping over his actual question: "How do you have fun without alcohol?"
- bluefirebrand 5y ago
  Not really. The answer is "be around people who are having fun without alcohol" Being sober and being around drunks is never really all that fun, imo.

danuker 5y ago

Possible step 5: integrate old friends one by one into your new circle, saving them from alcoholism

geocrasher 5y ago
Sorry, but no. Cutting ties is more important. If you look at any 12 step program, leaving the old life behind is vital. They need to find their own way. EDIT: I should have said "most recovery programs" rather than specifying 12 step. Please ignore the 12 step part and realize that I'm advising staying away from the people who are part of the OP's problem.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- bluefirebrand 5y ago
  Any 12 step program will likely also emphasize support from friends and family. Cutting ties doesn't have to be all or nothing, and it doesn't have to be everyone in that group. If you and a friend are both serious about quitting alcohol, they might be your best ally in quitting.
- oneplane 5y ago
  https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/the-surprising-failures-of-12-steps/284616/ https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/the-surpr... 12 step programs are a lie, they just isolate people, make them annihilate themselves all for the purpose of then assuming a higher power has to save them from themselves, after which they either fail or become converted to the religion that hosts the current incarnation of the program. There is a minority of modified programs that don't do that, but the classic one is not that. That said, if it 'works' for someone that's great, but if it is just replacing one thing with another, it's just a sidestep and not an improvement (except for bystanders who only 'see' things as a third party and because it 'looks' better they think it therefore must be better). In addition, removing the source of the problem (i.e. friends that cause you to drink) can help, but not as a universal solution. If people have such a degree of control over your actions, it's going to be more than just the friends that drink that can cause the problem. There are however, a whole lot of other options that are not religious conversion that have good (and measurable) results. As soon as someone recognises they have a problem they need help solving and actually want to solve it, that's when you can actually get somewhere.
bluefirebrand 5y ago
This is true. You're probably not the only one who wants to quit drinking. I wouldn't view it as "saving" them, but otherwise yeah. If you lead people might follow. In most groups I've seen, there's really only one person who is the heavy drinker, and they bring everyone else along.

brockwhittaker 5y ago

also the amount of fun is close to zero sum in life. that’s why kids can play with cardboard boxes and adults can’t figure out how to have any fun. reducing alcohol for a while will reduce fun, but then your threshold/sensitivity for what is enjoyable will increase, and the endorphins will return.

psyc 5y ago
https://youtu.be/T8SWmlQU1pU?t=34 https://youtu.be/T8SWmlQU1pU?t=34

cammikebrown 5y ago

This isn’t necessarily true. In college, I only drank very occasionally before I was 21. All of my friends drank. We still had a lot of fun. You don’t just sit around in a circle drinking. I’m currently doing a dry January and I still go out with my friends. There’s plenty of tasty non-alcoholic beverages.

geocrasher 5y ago
That may be true for your circumstance, but I wrote that with the OP's circumstance in mind.
lotsofpulp 5y ago
It depends how hammered the group is getting. If everyone is pacing so they are only slightly buzzed, it can still be fun for a sober person. If people are drinking to be drunk, as they tend to do in early 20s, then the sober person will not have so much fun after a couple hours once everyone else is inebriated.
spiffytech 5y ago
As someone who doesn't drink, I've never minded when friends have a drink over dinner or bring a bottle to game night. But if folks keep pouring all night, there eventually comes a point where I leave early because staying there sober just isn't any fun. Some people often stop after a couple, and some people seldom do.

kulashaker 5y ago

donohoe 5y ago

I think you're skipping over his actual question: "How do you have fun without alcohol?"

bluefirebrand 5y ago
Not really. The answer is "be around people who are having fun without alcohol" Being sober and being around drunks is never really all that fun, imo.