To OP - In "The Tyranny of Merit", Harvard philosopher Michael Sandel argues against the idea of meritocracy, both true meritocracy and the current system of ma

To OP - In "The Tyranny of Merit", Harvard philosopher Michael Sandel argues against the idea of meritocracy, both true meritocracy and the current system of markets running rampant enriching some people massively at the expense of others, yet claiming to be truly meritocratic. He argues the winners will have "meritocratic hubris" where they fail to recognise the pure luck and good fortune that accounts for much of their position, while losers (as in losers in the system, not "loser" in the derogatory sense) blame themselves unfairly and feel humiliated. He links that to the rise of the far right .. not sure I'd go that far but its an interesting hypothesis. Seems to me you and your friends could be in this exact position. Your friend's house that increased in value - they simply got lucky, right place right time, possibly had some skills timing the market. You're made to feel bad just because you haven't yet had your lucky break. Seems to me such massive wealth disparity is destructive to people's relationships with friends and family, including the people who got rich. Its easy to see those left poor are suffering. But actually do the rich ones really benefit from having millions if it wrecks their relationships? My advice, avoid jealousy or envy as unhappiness lies down that path. Instead, recognise that luck plays an enormous part, try to come to terms with that. If you can earn more and/or live frugally to sort your own finances out, then do that. I recognise that may or may not be easy / possible. Writing this as someone of average means - some friends have houses worth twice ours, (and people we never mix with have more than that), some friends have very little. We feel we're in the middle, get by by being careful with spending, and are happy with what we have. Good luck. I think asking this Q on HN is good, and also suggests you're trying to be a good friend and a nice person :)