I had a completely out of the blue heart attack last year and it's very weird to have gone from feeling fit and healthy to that and then back again. I find it

I had a completely out of the blue heart attack last year and it's very weird to have gone from feeling fit and healthy to that and then back again. I find it quite weird because its such a profound thing to be let down by your own body. Particularly when I live pretty healthily and exercise a lot. I was even swimming when I had the heart attack! Unlike other brushes with death I've had skiing and driving you lose an element of trust in yourself. It's not given me clarity so much as muddled everything up because it was so random and there is nothing in my power to do about it. I think mentally I'd have preferred a worse diagnosis, that I had a congenital or chronic problem, at least it would be understandable and I could feel like I was doing something to avoid it. But instead I'm really back where I started with a looming fear. In reality it's a problem anyone could have I was just unlucky enough to have it.