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Look into stoicism. Everything you are describing is core to the dichotomy of control: “The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters

Look into stoicism. Everything you are describing is core to the dichotomy of control: “The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own..." -Epictetus There are things within your control such as creating issues on GitHub, questions on Stack Overflow, chatting in the project's chat/mailing list, opening up a PR, explaining to your leadership, etc. There are things outside your control such as approving & merging a fix, getting attention on a GitHub issue / StackOverflow question, how your leadership reacts, etc. I think the challenge you have right now is having clarity of the problem & solution. A problem is a known unknown. It’s our assumption that needs clarity. A solution is a known known. It's the facts we gain from having clarity. Being able to articulate a problem helps us gain clarity. Clarity relies on the fact that our assumption is correct. Most of the time, our assumptions are wrong. Feeling powerless comes from not taking control. You have many things in your control you can be doing. Once you do that, it'll be a hell of a lot easier on your conscious.

BoumTAC 5y ago
> Feeling powerless comes from not taking control. You have many things in your control you can be doing. Once you do that, it'll be a hell of a lot easier on your conscious. Thanks for this one. It really hit me up.
swader999 5y ago
The hard part is when there is a quick and un maintainable way to implement something without leadership to demand doing it the right way. Some times the quick way is the best way. It just needs to be explicitly stated and decided. Too often there's discussion but no decision and no follow through.
giraffe_lady 5y ago
The practical problem with the boiled down stoic approach is that in modern life almost nothing falls firmly and clearly into one of those two categories. In OPs situation for example, webpack problems aren't under their control. But whether they use webpack, to some possibly very small extent, is. So now OP has the choice of whether to _consider_ it under their control, and push for a different tool that might make life easier. That may or may not be a good or satisfying use of time and energy, and OP is on their own for that, the stoic "control vs not" dichotomy has not been useful here. This applies to like, basically everything that could cause someone mental anguish these days. Foreign wars, economic inequality, accessible biking infrastructure. These are all problems for me. All of them are outside my individual control, yet I still have a degree of influence to affect them. Under this simple stoic approach, which bucket do I put them in? Assuming responsibility for every event I have any power to influence seems like a path to despair. But abdicating responsibility for things I feel powerless to change is also grim. Maybe it has always been like this. And yes I am read up on the stoics and know that they have a lot more to offer for these calculations. I'm merely pointing out that giving people the simple "control/not control" technique is rarely very helpful.
- thenerdhead 5y ago
  The whole point of the two categories is to be able to break down problems into actionable behaviors. You won't be able to solve world hunger by yourself. But you can help by donating a meal today. You won't be able to solve obscure webpack problems by yourself. But you can report an issue with a reproduction to the maintainers today. It's all about perspective. If it doesn't help you, that's okay. Maybe it will help someone else like it helped me throughout my career.
  - giraffe_lady 5y ago
    I'm genuinely glad you've found it helpful! I'm not trying to mess with that. I just, as a problem solving tool, have never found any use for it. For me it falls into the same category as expressions like "it is what it is" or "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." These sayings point at important truths that should be considered frequently. But they are worthless for solving any specific problem.
    - thenerdhead 5y ago
      Fair enough. It is what it is.

BoumTAC 5y ago

> Feeling powerless comes from not taking control. You have many things in your control you can be doing. Once you do that, it'll be a hell of a lot easier on your conscious. Thanks for this one. It really hit me up.

swader999 5y ago

The hard part is when there is a quick and un maintainable way to implement something without leadership to demand doing it the right way. Some times the quick way is the best way. It just needs to be explicitly stated and decided. Too often there's discussion but no decision and no follow through.

giraffe_lady 5y ago

The practical problem with the boiled down stoic approach is that in modern life almost nothing falls firmly and clearly into one of those two categories. In OPs situation for example, webpack problems aren't under their control. But whether they use webpack, to some possibly very small extent, is. So now OP has the choice of whether to _consider_ it under their control, and push for a different tool that might make life easier. That may or may not be a good or satisfying use of time and energy, and OP is on their own for that, the stoic "control vs not" dichotomy has not been useful here. This applies to like, basically everything that could cause someone mental anguish these days. Foreign wars, economic inequality, accessible biking infrastructure. These are all problems for me. All of them are outside my individual control, yet I still have a degree of influence to affect them. Under this simple stoic approach, which bucket do I put them in? Assuming responsibility for every event I have any power to influence seems like a path to despair. But abdicating responsibility for things I feel powerless to change is also grim. Maybe it has always been like this. And yes I am read up on the stoics and know that they have a lot more to offer for these calculations. I'm merely pointing out that giving people the simple "control/not control" technique is rarely very helpful.

thenerdhead 5y ago
The whole point of the two categories is to be able to break down problems into actionable behaviors. You won't be able to solve world hunger by yourself. But you can help by donating a meal today. You won't be able to solve obscure webpack problems by yourself. But you can report an issue with a reproduction to the maintainers today. It's all about perspective. If it doesn't help you, that's okay. Maybe it will help someone else like it helped me throughout my career.
- giraffe_lady 5y ago
  I'm genuinely glad you've found it helpful! I'm not trying to mess with that. I just, as a problem solving tool, have never found any use for it. For me it falls into the same category as expressions like "it is what it is" or "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." These sayings point at important truths that should be considered frequently. But they are worthless for solving any specific problem.
  - thenerdhead 5y ago
    Fair enough. It is what it is.