8 ms·

At a previous job HR directly contacted me and told me to put my pronouns on my profile. I said sure and proceeded to ignore it. Fuck that shit

coolso 5y ago
Good. This pronoun virtue signaling meme has gotta go. Or at least don’t censor us by limiting us to the ones Officially Approved by the Pronoun Establishment like Instagram and most other places do. If they can have custom pronouns, why can’t we? (The answer is because it would immediately undermine the “cause” by shedding light on just how silly but also how 1984-esque the concept is.)
- colechristensen 5y ago
  If someone wants to tell me pronouns they want to be referred to, sure, I’ll try to remember as long as they’re not asking for something extreme, but honestly I’m not that good with even names so… best effort. I would rather not give out pronouns and don’t really care how people refer to me though “they” in forums when my username is my real name does come off as a bit strange… though again, this is a trivial annoyance.
  - metabagel 5y ago
    Yes, it's a trivial annoyance. That's the human, normal way of looking at this, not like it's some massive festering grievance as some people seem to feel.
    - coolso 5y ago
      Because it’s just another tip of the iceberg. In reality it’s a concerted effort amongst a certain group of people to add more and more trivial annoyances to normal peoples’ lives to satiate their own desire to control others who they feel don’t deserve to be able to live their lives in peace. Because misery loves company. It all adds up. You can attempt to minimize it all you want but it’s like the person who nitpicks everything: “can I have 3 ice cubes? Oh when you make my sandwich can you go light on the salt? Hey I know this is your house but could you turn that music down a bit? Boy it’s cold in here… you should turn up the heat! Wow you take these vitamins? You should be taking these instead! Oh hey I know I’m obviously a girl but can you refer to me as they? I want you to have to think hard before you use my pronouns and make sure you remember each person’s custom pronouns. Wait, why are these little trivial comments bothering you? It’s not some massive festering grievance. Just deal with it it’s no big deal, it’s common decency to adhere to all of my requests. :)” Pronoun-memers tend to claim they are more sensitive to feelings. Therefore they should be sensitive to most of the world’s feelings of general annoyance around the current pronoun meme.
- metabagel 5y ago
  I would think that virtue signaling is good. It sure sounds good. "Virtue" means " Moral excellence and righteousness; goodness." "Signaling" means "An indicator, such as a gesture or colored light, that serves as a means of communication." So, basically if I'm morally excellent and I communicate that to you, that's a bad thing? Why is that? Is it because it makes you feel bad? Same question about "woke". Like, "not asleep"? How is that bad? I just feel like these terms are thoughtlessly bandied about. They're never really defined. They actually don't sound bad, but they're used in a pejorative context. It's just really strange.
  - _-david-_ 5y ago
    Virtue signalling does not mean you have virtue. Just that you are attempting to signal to others that you do have virtue.
john_moscow 5y ago
When someone asks me about preferred pronouns, my answer is "I prefer a raise over pronouns and thank you letters". I wish more people would do the same.
- dan_pixelflow 5y ago
  This weird hatred of not sharing pronouns is harmful - it's.. a few characters next to your name to help people talk to you and to help people who use different pronouns to what society has given them. Please stop acting all high-and-mighty over them - it's always with good intent.
  - yibers 5y ago
    Always with good intent?
  - john_moscow 5y ago
    Oh, it's not hatred. It's calling out the employers' bullshit. People have an inherent need to have "wins". Getting something you could envision. Used to be simple things like money, property, vacations, you know. Then the corporate psychologists figured out that instead of giving you a raise out of the corporate budget, they can let people have non-monetary "wins". "Thank you" letters, "parking for employee of the month", "product owner" titles, etc. Pronouns are just another step in this sequence, but it's more divisive, since it comes with a tiny little power over other employees - occupying a slightly larger slot in their attention by having them remember them. All while the wage/home price ratio keeps plummeting, and retirement at any reasonable age has gone completely off the radar. These problems affect ALL of us, regardless of our race, gender, sexual preferences, etc. They are not divisive at all, but they are harmful to the corporate profits. So the HR and the media are doing their best to bump made-up divisive issues to the top of our priorities, so we won't notice how we are being screwed.
  - tristan957 5y ago
    I am a man. My pronouns on my LinkedIn profile do nothing other than to appease a fringe part of society who thinks being incorrectly referred to by a different pronoun is an attack on their character. I don't feel the need to give in to these people. Someone who would repeatedly refer to you by the wrong pronouns doesn't care that your pronouns are on your profile. It is a solution looking for a problem.
carnitas 5y ago
I am actively looking for a new job and disqualifying companies where people have pronouns in the signature. I’ve seen it go full woke crazy, not trying to deal with that again
bonestamp2 5y ago
Which profile.. some internal org chart or a public platform like linkedin?
- NikolaeVarius 5y ago
  Internal
kbenson 5y ago
While I understand the sentiment, I think to some degree putting a pronoun down is for the benefit of those conversing with you, so they don't have to wonder or get it wrong. In lieu of this, and because I don't really care what pronoun is used for me, I sometimes just put "any" if it's an option to denote that I don't care.
- NikolaeVarius 5y ago
  I literally dont give a shit what you call me. People who hem and haw about getting pronouns wrong blow my mind of how weird this has all become
  - kbenson 5y ago
    They hem and haw because some people care a lot and make a big deal if you get it wrong and it can have social consequences depending on where you live/work, etc, and if you repeatedly ignore what other people want to be called it can be seen as an act of aggression. In the current climate, people want to get it right for other people because either they don't want to be an asshole, they believe it's important, they're afraid of being called out, or some combination thereof. If you actually don't care, the easiest thing to do is just advertise that you don't care so people don't have to wonder. If you actually do care, but about how you shouldn't have to care and are trying to make a point about that, well that's something different, isn't it?
    - NikolaeVarius 5y ago
      What else about myself do i have to actively advertise so that people are not afraid of talking to me.
      - kbenson 5y ago
        That is just one of three reasons I listed. I'm not sure why you'd focus on that exclusively, it seems a bit silly to me. What's being asked of you is a common courtesy. Anyone that refuses this courtesy that takes so little when specifically asked for it is taking actions that speak for themselves. You're being asked something as simple as "how do you prefer to be addressed" and you've scoured the area for all the loose dust and detritus you can find to make yourself a mountain to die on. Is it really worth it? Perhaps there are other aspects to recent culture shift that are slightly less defensible that are better targets?
908B64B197 5y ago
I don't hate the idea of explicitly stating pronouns, especially online, because I had to interact with people with particularly ambiguous names (happens often in very international environments). Even here in America, if you get an email from "Taylor Something" and their intranet picture is a houseplant how do you respond?
- Lio 5y ago
  If you get an email directly from “Taylor” and you want to reply you won’t have use their pronouns anyway. It’s only if you’re referring to them to a third person that you’ll need them. You should still be able to refer to them with without explicitly using any pronouns even then.

coolso 5y ago

Good. This pronoun virtue signaling meme has gotta go. Or at least don’t censor us by limiting us to the ones Officially Approved by the Pronoun Establishment like Instagram and most other places do. If they can have custom pronouns, why can’t we? (The answer is because it would immediately undermine the “cause” by shedding light on just how silly but also how 1984-esque the concept is.)

colechristensen 5y ago
If someone wants to tell me pronouns they want to be referred to, sure, I’ll try to remember as long as they’re not asking for something extreme, but honestly I’m not that good with even names so… best effort. I would rather not give out pronouns and don’t really care how people refer to me though “they” in forums when my username is my real name does come off as a bit strange… though again, this is a trivial annoyance.
- metabagel 5y ago
  Yes, it's a trivial annoyance. That's the human, normal way of looking at this, not like it's some massive festering grievance as some people seem to feel.
  - coolso 5y ago
    Because it’s just another tip of the iceberg. In reality it’s a concerted effort amongst a certain group of people to add more and more trivial annoyances to normal peoples’ lives to satiate their own desire to control others who they feel don’t deserve to be able to live their lives in peace. Because misery loves company. It all adds up. You can attempt to minimize it all you want but it’s like the person who nitpicks everything: “can I have 3 ice cubes? Oh when you make my sandwich can you go light on the salt? Hey I know this is your house but could you turn that music down a bit? Boy it’s cold in here… you should turn up the heat! Wow you take these vitamins? You should be taking these instead! Oh hey I know I’m obviously a girl but can you refer to me as they? I want you to have to think hard before you use my pronouns and make sure you remember each person’s custom pronouns. Wait, why are these little trivial comments bothering you? It’s not some massive festering grievance. Just deal with it it’s no big deal, it’s common decency to adhere to all of my requests. :)” Pronoun-memers tend to claim they are more sensitive to feelings. Therefore they should be sensitive to most of the world’s feelings of general annoyance around the current pronoun meme.
metabagel 5y ago
I would think that virtue signaling is good. It sure sounds good. "Virtue" means " Moral excellence and righteousness; goodness." "Signaling" means "An indicator, such as a gesture or colored light, that serves as a means of communication." So, basically if I'm morally excellent and I communicate that to you, that's a bad thing? Why is that? Is it because it makes you feel bad? Same question about "woke". Like, "not asleep"? How is that bad? I just feel like these terms are thoughtlessly bandied about. They're never really defined. They actually don't sound bad, but they're used in a pejorative context. It's just really strange.
- _-david-_ 5y ago
  Virtue signalling does not mean you have virtue. Just that you are attempting to signal to others that you do have virtue.

john_moscow 5y ago

When someone asks me about preferred pronouns, my answer is "I prefer a raise over pronouns and thank you letters". I wish more people would do the same.

dan_pixelflow 5y ago
This weird hatred of not sharing pronouns is harmful - it's.. a few characters next to your name to help people talk to you and to help people who use different pronouns to what society has given them. Please stop acting all high-and-mighty over them - it's always with good intent.
- yibers 5y ago
  Always with good intent?
- john_moscow 5y ago
  Oh, it's not hatred. It's calling out the employers' bullshit. People have an inherent need to have "wins". Getting something you could envision. Used to be simple things like money, property, vacations, you know. Then the corporate psychologists figured out that instead of giving you a raise out of the corporate budget, they can let people have non-monetary "wins". "Thank you" letters, "parking for employee of the month", "product owner" titles, etc. Pronouns are just another step in this sequence, but it's more divisive, since it comes with a tiny little power over other employees - occupying a slightly larger slot in their attention by having them remember them. All while the wage/home price ratio keeps plummeting, and retirement at any reasonable age has gone completely off the radar. These problems affect ALL of us, regardless of our race, gender, sexual preferences, etc. They are not divisive at all, but they are harmful to the corporate profits. So the HR and the media are doing their best to bump made-up divisive issues to the top of our priorities, so we won't notice how we are being screwed.
- tristan957 5y ago
  I am a man. My pronouns on my LinkedIn profile do nothing other than to appease a fringe part of society who thinks being incorrectly referred to by a different pronoun is an attack on their character. I don't feel the need to give in to these people. Someone who would repeatedly refer to you by the wrong pronouns doesn't care that your pronouns are on your profile. It is a solution looking for a problem.

carnitas 5y ago

I am actively looking for a new job and disqualifying companies where people have pronouns in the signature. I’ve seen it go full woke crazy, not trying to deal with that again

bonestamp2 5y ago

Which profile.. some internal org chart or a public platform like linkedin?

NikolaeVarius 5y ago
Internal

kbenson 5y ago

While I understand the sentiment, I think to some degree putting a pronoun down is for the benefit of those conversing with you, so they don't have to wonder or get it wrong. In lieu of this, and because I don't really care what pronoun is used for me, I sometimes just put "any" if it's an option to denote that I don't care.

NikolaeVarius 5y ago
I literally dont give a shit what you call me. People who hem and haw about getting pronouns wrong blow my mind of how weird this has all become
- kbenson 5y ago
  They hem and haw because some people care a lot and make a big deal if you get it wrong and it can have social consequences depending on where you live/work, etc, and if you repeatedly ignore what other people want to be called it can be seen as an act of aggression. In the current climate, people want to get it right for other people because either they don't want to be an asshole, they believe it's important, they're afraid of being called out, or some combination thereof. If you actually don't care, the easiest thing to do is just advertise that you don't care so people don't have to wonder. If you actually do care, but about how you shouldn't have to care and are trying to make a point about that, well that's something different, isn't it?
  - NikolaeVarius 5y ago
    What else about myself do i have to actively advertise so that people are not afraid of talking to me.
    - kbenson 5y ago
      That is just one of three reasons I listed. I'm not sure why you'd focus on that exclusively, it seems a bit silly to me. What's being asked of you is a common courtesy. Anyone that refuses this courtesy that takes so little when specifically asked for it is taking actions that speak for themselves. You're being asked something as simple as "how do you prefer to be addressed" and you've scoured the area for all the loose dust and detritus you can find to make yourself a mountain to die on. Is it really worth it? Perhaps there are other aspects to recent culture shift that are slightly less defensible that are better targets?

908B64B197 5y ago

I don't hate the idea of explicitly stating pronouns, especially online, because I had to interact with people with particularly ambiguous names (happens often in very international environments). Even here in America, if you get an email from "Taylor Something" and their intranet picture is a houseplant how do you respond?

Lio 5y ago
If you get an email directly from “Taylor” and you want to reply you won’t have use their pronouns anyway. It’s only if you’re referring to them to a third person that you’ll need them. You should still be able to refer to them with without explicitly using any pronouns even then.