I'm fully aware I'm projecting now! But I'm interpreting your mixed signals and incoherent rambling are some kind of ad hoc beacon signaling out-of-band "it's f

I'm fully aware I'm projecting now! But I'm interpreting your mixed signals and incoherent rambling are some kind of ad hoc beacon signaling out-of-band "it's fucking hard and I don't know what to do, send help" but the framing you are in can't allow you to say that out loud because that is not "sucking it up". So you'll go on believing that the gender roles serve you well because "at least I'm not having a nervous breakdown". Until you do. And then I hope, you'll seek and accept help. For me, seeking help came in the form of starting doing work in the context of a national movement affiliated with the global movement Men Engage. But that movement see the traditional gender roles more as harmful rather than serving a purpose like you believe so I'm guessing that's not it for you. http://menengage.org/about-us/what-we-believe/ http://menengage.org/about-us/what-we-believe/